The Experiment Oversight
by Cooper-HofstadterTheory
Summary: It was just an experiment. Who knew it could go so wrong? I don't own The Big Bang Theory, or its characters. They belong to Chuck Lorre. I make no money from the writing of this story; it's just fun.
1. The Experiment Oversight

Amy Farah Fowler had never felt so nervous about doing an experiment before. Of course, never before had she done an experiment involving Dr. Sheldon Cooper of this type before. Especially one that would go against everything in their Relationship Agreement.

It was Penny who had given her the idea, if unintentionally. Of course, someone like her bestie Penny would not have come to this particular end of the train of thought that she'd started Amy on, but the origin of the idea had come from her and credit was due where it was due. Though, whether the experiment failed or succeeded, it was certainly not going into an publication, so Penny wouldn't be seeing her name in print as creditor. Hopefully her bestie could forgive her for that.

The idea had seemed simple enough. Amy had been enjoying dinner with Penny at the blonde's apartment, directly across the hall from Sheldon and his group of friends. It had been Friday night, and neither girl had had any plans with their respective partners. If Bernadette had not been under quarantine for mishandling small pox molecules while playing a prank on a new member of the laboratory, she probably would have been with them.

Dinner had been take-away linguini with butter sauce, scallops, and white wine with tiramisu for dessert. It would have been a pleasant best friends evening with Penny, but she found herself unable to concentrate on the banal, but amusing conversation they were having, namely, Penny regaling her with a tale of an old man who had tried to pick her up at the restaurant.

"And then he turned purple, sprouted eight tentacles, and sucked his dinner up like a fly."

"What?" Amy had asked.

"You're not listening to me. What's got you down?"

Amy had sighed and set her cup down. "I apologize for focusing my attention on matters other than your engaging story of, as you put it, the 'skeezy creeper' but something is bothering me."

"Yeah, what?"

"Well, it's my understanding that generally on a Friday night, those who have 'significant others' typically spend those Friday nights with them."

"Oh, yeah, well, you know, it doesn't have to be every week."

"Yes, I understand. Date night with Sheldon is only the second Thursday of the month, third if it's a month with five days. Hence, my frustration. I'm frustrated that my relationship with Sheldon has not gotten any further."

"Oh, honey, I know. Sheldon's… difficult."

"Based on your pause, I suspect you intended a different adjective."

Penny had smiled, but said, "Do you want to talk about it?

"I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about it?"

"No, no, I mean… When someone says that, they're inviting the other person to rant about what's bothering them. So… rant."

"Rant means to espouse aggravation on a subject in a fervent manner that does not necessarily present a solution to the problem being espoused upon, doesn't it?"

Penny had hesitated for a second. "Uh… yeah, I think so. So, rant. I'm all ears."

"I appreciate your offer, but I wish to find a way to expedite our relationship, and ranting does not seem to head toward that end."

"Well…" Penny had looked stumped. She picked up her wineglass and took a drink. "I don't know. Okay, if it's not too embarrassing for you, tell me how far you've gotten."

"Why would it be embarrassing? It's my understanding that in friendships, girls typically gossip about their sexual exploits with various men."

"Okay, yeah, you're right."

"We have had dinner together on numerous occasions, I have held his hand, we cuddled on the couch once when I was upset-" Even Amy had known not to bring up the reason for the upset, as doing so might cause Penny feelings of discomfort, and she had wanted to focus on the topic at hand.

"Okay, not everything you've done," Penny had said. "Have you kissed him?"

"Yes. According to him. Unfortunately, I don't remember it."

"Oh, my God, really?! You kissed?!" Penny had squealed excitedly then frowned. "Wait, why don't you remember it?"

"Apparently I kissed him while drunk after the night we took him dancing."

"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, after all this, and you can't remember? Well, what did he say? Was he mad?"

Amy had considered carefully. "I'm not sure. He said it casually and did not ask me not to do it again. However-"

"There you go!" Penny had interrupted enthusiastically. "He liked it!"

"I don't know if he enjoyed it. After that, I said I wasn't sure where to go from here and he said that it would probably be best if we reset our relationship to the point when we both agreed it worked. I was relieved by the suggestion and agreed. Would he have suggested that if he wasn't upset by the kiss?"

Penny had frowned thoughtfully and took another swallow of wine. "Maybe he was just offering you a way to get over your awkwardness. He didn't end the relationship, right? Is that the only time you kissed him? That was so long ago!"

"You remember the Relationship Agreement I signed, don't you? No physical touching is a-"

"Oh, balls! Ignore that stupid thing! Leonard does it all the time with that stupid Roommate Agreement and they're still friends." Penny had laughed and set down her empty wineglass. "You know what, there you go! That's what you need to do! Ignore it!"

"But if I do that, and he finds it grounds to break up with me…"

"Maybe he will, but do you want to stay like this? A boyfriend who'd rather spend Friday night playing videogames than with you?"

"Leonard is over there playing games and you seem okay with that fact."

"He invited me out, I just felt sorry for you-" Penny had stopped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh, Amy, I'm sorry! I'm drunk, I didn't mean to say that!"

"Sorry for me?" Amy had repeated, beginning to feel a bit annoyed. Pity, from her bestie?

"Look," Penny had dropped her hands. "Yes, but just because Sheldon is an asshole."

"Sheldon is not an asshole."

"Sorry. Okay, look, let's start over, okay? I'm sorry, forgive me?"

Amy had sighed. She couldn't stay mad at Penny. It was why they were still best friends despite her ditching Amy to bridesmaids shop with Bernadette, hurting her feelings greatly. There was just something about the radiant young woman from Nebraska who made it impossible to harbor hard feelings.

"You're forgiven."

"Good. Okay, back to Sheldon. Do you want to stay like this? In this… what's the big word, impasse?"

"That is the correct term for the situation. Stalemate, gridlock, and standoff are also acceptable."

"Great. Anyway, answer the question."

"No. That is why I announced my problem, as a means to engage you and find a solution."

"Right. So ignore the Relationship Agreement-"

"But what if he breaks up with me?"

Penny had sighed and rubbed her forehead, a sure sign of an impending headache. It was Amy's understanding that doing so in a situation like this indicated aggravation with the other person in the situation. Perhaps she was being difficult, like Sheldon? If so, she didn't mean to, she was just concerned that an aggressive tactic might work for someone as bold as Penny, but for her…

"That's a risk you'll have to take."

Amy had fidgeted nervously. "But I don't want to take that risk. I want to remain in a relationship with him."

"I know, Amy, but sometimes you just have to take risks. Boys are stupid, they need women to tell them what's going on, not come to the…" Penny had frowned and waved her hand. "I don't know, I'm drunk. The c-word."

"Inferring from the context of your sentence, I believe you mean conclusion?"

"Yes! Not come to the conclusion themselves. You have to tell them exactly what you want and make them do it." She had poured herself another glass of wine. Despite repeated claims to be drunk, Amy had noticed that she did not spill the wine onto the table. "Give Sheldon an ultimatum."

"That won't work with Sheldon," Amy had protested. "He'll turn me down and then break up with me."

"Oh, right, we're talking about Sheldon." Penny had rubbed her nose again. "Amy, is he really worth all this trouble?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… Sheldon's my… friend, and I've known him, wow, almost six years, but he's… difficult. Is he worth all this stress he puts on you?"

"Of cour-"

"Wait, think about it carefully."

"Are you attempting to tell me I would be better off without him?"

"No. No, nothing like that, that's your decision. But this is Sheldon. He's rude, childish, insensitive, arrogant, inflexible, cold, and petty."

"You do seem to be leading me towards 'I'd be better off'," Amy had said testily.

"Nope. I've listed his faults. This is the part where you list his… you know, non-faults."

"The pros and cons of a relationship with Sheldon?"

"Yeah!" Penny had widened her eyes and wagged her finger. "That."

"Okay. Sheldon is smart, very smart, clean, uh, that sexy eidetic memory, and… is that enough pros?" Amy had been worried. "It doesn't amount to more bullet points than your list of cons."

Penny had smiled fondly at her. "Amy, if I were listing all of Sheldon's cons, listing the pros of all of the rest of the world together couldn't outweigh it. All right, let me help. Let's see… pros about Sheldon… pros about Sheldon…" Her eyes had wandered around the room. "Okay, how about this. You think Sheldon's memory is sexy. Okay, not my thing, but whatever. What about him? Do you think he's sexy?"

"Yes. He is very tall," Amy had smiled dreamily as she pictured her boyfriend. "He has broad shoulders and such alluring blue eyes, and can execute a perfect angle of incidence for-"

"Amy, I don't know what is."

"Well, it's-"

"Focus on Sheldon. He's good at math or whatever and somehow that's sexy. Okay, so, he's smart, and…clean, and you think he's sexy."

"Do you think he's sexy?"

Penny had been in the middle of taking a sip of wine. Now she nearly dropped the glass before it reached her lips. "WHAT?!"

"Compliments between girlfriends on their respective mates tends to be a common topic in gossip," Amy had said, puzzled by Penny's outburst. "For instance, Leonard. He's not as tall or smart as Sheldon, but he's very 'cute' I think is the best term. And he has a nice smile and laugh." Amy had thought it best to list more pros than cons for Leonard, lest she accidentally make Penny reconsider her relationship with him. It had just started up again. "He's also very friendly and certainly excellent at his chosen profession of experimental physics, otherwise the university would have fired him years ago."

Penny had given her one of those dumbfounded looks she gave when she wasn't sure what Amy had said. Although in this case, Amy wasn't sure why. She had been perfectly blunt in her explanation. Perhaps it was the wine that was making Penny confused. Maybe Sheldon DID have a point about the consumption of alcohol being a bad thing.

"I understand that you are not currently in a physical relationship with him, or any man, however, I understand that he is your last chosen mate, therefore, I chose him as the basis for my end of the gossip. If you find another mate, I will be sure to find a compliment for him. Now, aren't you supposed to compliment Sheldon?"

"You want me to say Sheldon is sexy?"

"I don't want you to say it if it's not true. Of course, if you don't think it's true, then I'll have to wonder at the personal basis for your criteria for physical attractiveness and concede to the adage 'to each their own'."

Penny had shook her head like she was trying to wrap her mind around what Amy had said. Yes, maybe Amy really should rethink her social drinking. "All right… well… Sheldon's not… ugly." Penny had looked thoughtful. "Honest answer, he's kind of cute, okay, really cute. You're right, he does have nice eyes. But Sheldon doesn't at all do it for me and we're talking about *you* and him. Why include me?"

"Compliments between girlfriends-"

"Right, right, sorry. Let's move on, okay? Sheldon is smart, clean, and sexy." Penny had coughed, but Amy had not seen a reason behind it but before she could inquire after Penny's health, Penny had continued on. "Anything else?"

Amy had thought for a minute, then looked up at Penny worriedly. Penny had smiled and patted her arm.

"Look, you don't have to have more pros than cons, okay? But if it'll make you feel better… let's see, Sheldon can be sweet in his own way. Like this one Christmas, he got me, like, fifteen different bath sets because he wanted to match the value of my gift to his. When he found out I got him Leonard Nimoy's signature on a napkin, he was so moved he even gave me a hug." Penny had smiled smugly. "I don't have to buy any more lotion or shower gel for, like, another twenty years. Oh, and I guess you can say his social awkwardness and naiveté is kind of endearing."

"No, it's not! That's the exact reason I'm sitting here with you trying to figure out how to move our relationship along!"

"Okay, okay. I was just giving you pros! I've done it, now answer the question. IS Sheldon worth all this trouble, yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"But I still don't know how to move this along without running the risk of a breakup. I don't think forcing Sheldon into a sexual encounter will-"

"Whoa, whoa, that's not what I meant. I meant tell him you want to take it to the next level and put your foot down, not rape him."

"Oh, good, I was beginning to be a little uncomfortable."

Penny had stared at her with that dumbfounded look again. Was the wine really affecting her that badly? Based on her weight and the amount of food she had consumed, the adverse affects shouldn't be hitting her this hard.

"In any case, an ultimatum will make him breakup with me, I'm sure of it."

Penny had sighed and taken another sip of wine. Amy had wanted to tell her to stop, concerned that the wine was somehow more potent than it's labeled alcohol content insisted, but she was too slow.

"Yeah, guys are pretty stupid about ultimatums. It's like it's a slight against their manhood or something, they always deliberately make the wrong choice. How about kiss him and see how he reacts?"

"I've done that."

"And you don't remember it."

"No, but a kiss is a kiss, I want something more."

Penny had blown out her air through pursed lips. "Cannot believe I'm having this conversation about Sheldon Cooper. Too bad you can't just trick him."

It was like the proverbial light bulb had flashed over Amy's had. "That's perfect!" she had exclaimed.

"What?" Now Amy had been genuinely concerned about the alcohol content in the wine bottle, but she had been unable to concentrate on that now that Penny had given her such a great idea. "Wait, where are you going?"

Amy had bounded up, too excited to stay. She had plans to make. "Sorry, bestie, thank you for dinner and dessert, but I have to flesh out this idea." She had grabbed her coat and opened the door. "Oh, and please stop drinking that wine, I'm worried that it's much stronger than it's label claims, you seem unable to follow what I'm saying despite my careful consideration to phrase myself to your intellectual level. Goodbye!" After all, she had had to make sure she took care of Penny's health, otherwise what sort of best friend was she?

And now here she was about to follow through on her plan. She had carefully considered all means to trick Sheldon into furthering their relationship. Today was the day because it was their designated date night and she didn't have to worry about one of Sheldon's friends interrupting them. She had invited Sheldon over to her place.

Penny had called her Saturday after undoubtedly sleeping off the effects of her over-potent wine, but despite Amy's concern over its alcoholic content, she had been able to remember the events of their Friday evening. She had insisted that Amy was making a mistake, and that she hadn't intended to make Amy believe tricking Sheldon was the way to go.

"How is that any different from raping him?" she had said.

"Oh, I understand the moral implications of what I said," Amy had insisted. "I will not be tricking him, I'll be seducing him. He just won't know that that's what I'm doing."

"Oh," Penny had said, though she sounded a bit uncertain. "How are you going to do that?"

"It's best I don't reveal my plan. Sorry, bestie, but secrets best remain secrets if they're kept to the owner."

"Uh… sure, whatever. As long as you're not doing anything illegal."

"Of course not. I can't really continue a relationship with Sheldon if I'm in prison and he's my accuser. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Okay… Well, good luck."

She would need the good luck. She was so nervous after being so confident in her plan that she almost called it off. But she steeled herself by reminding herself that it was up to her to move the relationship forward. If there was another con to add to Sheldon's list, it was his stubbornness. Also his frustrating lack of sexual curiosity. He claimed everything was already known about such matters, ergo he had nothing to be curious about, but she intended to prove him wrong.

Knock knock knock. "Amy." Knock knock knock. "Amy." Knock knock knock. "Amy."

Amy smiled. Sometimes Sheldon's obsessive-compulsive need for that knocking pattern could be annoying, but she also found it charming. It was, simply put, totally Sheldon.

Amy crossed to the door and opened it. "Hello, Sheldon."

"Good evening, Amy," Sheldon said with a smile. "I have big plans for our date night."

"Actually, I already came up with something."

"Oh. Well, certainly it can't be as interesting as seeing a conference on string theory at the convention center. I'm quite sure we'll find their proposals on the subject a hoot."

"As fun as that does sound, I actually want to do something scientific ourselves."

Looking intrigued, Sheldon walked into the apartment as she gestured for him to enter. He looked around, spying the suit and EEG and EKG machines by the couch. His puzzled expression was adorable. Amy found herself getting over her nervousness by the intoxicating aroma of his talc powder. He really was sexy. Even if he did break up with her, this night would be a memory she wouldn't regret making. At least she hoped so.

"What's that for?" Sheldon asked.

"The experiment is in neurobiology," Amy explained. "Therefore, an EEG is needed to measure your brainwave pattern and the EKG to measure your circulatory system."

"Oh. Well, neurobiology is not as fascinating as theoretical physics, but it does have its place in the world, I suppose." Amy did her best to ignore the barb to her profession. Sheldon was just arrogant, as Penny had said. "What do you need my help with?"

"I'm running an experiment on the way the brain processes dopamine in the face of discomforting situations."

Sheldon frowned. "You're going to give me something I'll enjoy and upset me at the same time?"

"Yes."

"Why do you need my help? This is a simple thing that any grad student desperate for-"

"I want you to help me because this is our date night and you're the only one I want to run this experiment on." She decided to play to Sheldon's ego. The fact that he had a hard time grasping the concepts of sarcasm and manipulation came in handy at times like this. "I need a superior brain free of outside influences to make sure the results are as exact as I want. I won't find a more superior brain than yours."

"That is true," Sheldon agreed without the slightest hint of humility. "All right. What do I need to do?"

"Put on that suit. It forms to your physique and allows me to attach the sensors to your chest to monitor your physiological reactions without you having to undress in front of me."

"Ah, excellent, you've thought of everything."

Amy rolled her eyes as Sheldon picked up the suit and walked into her bathroom and shut the door. She wouldn't have had to 'think of everything' if Sheldon was a little more primal. Of course, then he wouldn't be the Homo Novus he claimed to be. He prided himself on being anything but primal. Amy was going to show him that a little primitiveness could be fun.

Sheldon came back out of the bathroom and Amy couldn't help a tiny "hoo" from escaping. The suit really DID form to his physique. She couldn't take her eyes off his broad shoulders and slim hips. Pity he had to be so insistent on covering up all the time.

"Amy, don't you think this is a little revealing?" Sheldon complained, evidently not hearing her exclamation. "I understand the point was so that I wouldn't have to undress in front of you. This doesn't leave much to the imagination."

All the better in her opinion. But she didn't mention that. "Sheldon, you said you were going to help me. I know what I'm doing. Now, promise me you're not going to dig your heels in with every little thing. This is MY field of expertise and my experiment." She hesitated, then added. "Promise me, on your honor as a Texas gentleman, that you'll do whatever I say in the context of this experiment that you agreed to help me with."

Sheldon looked puzzled again. He seemed to have forgotten his discomfort with the tight suit. "I promise," he said. "But is it necessary to elicit such a strong promise-"

"All right, the experiment has started and I have your promise. Come here and sit down so I can put the sensors on."

Sheldon obediently came and sat on the couch. Amy had laid out the instruments on the left side of the coffee table, knowing that Sheldon gravitated toward the left of couches wherever they were, and that he had claimed that cushion of her couch as his spot in her apartment. She spent the next couple of minutes carefully attaching the sensors to his temples, chest, and back, making no big deal out of touching him even though his close proximity and his continuously alluring personal scent were driving her crazy.

"Okay, stand up."

Sheldon looked puzzled yet again. "What does that have to do with it?"

"Sheldon…"

"All right, you're the neurobiological expert. I'm just your superior brain you're manipulating." He stood, and Amy kept her eyes determinedly on his face.

"As you know, dopamine is the brain's 'feel-good' drug and can be triggered by any number of factors. It serves to act as a relaxant and anyone can become addicted to it, which is the real basis for addictions to the things that give us that feel-good sensation."

"Yes, I know," Sheldon said, sounding like he was struggling not to be irritated by her explaining things he already knew.

"Yes, but I want to know whether that addiction can surpass even the discomfort of an uncomfortable situation."

"What are you going to do to me?" Sheldon asked, sounding now a little nervous.

Amy tried not to react to the inadvertent perverseness of the question. He had said it innocently. Instead she said, "Remember, you promised me you'd let me do my experiment. I'm not going to hurt you."

Sheldon didn't look soothed. "I did promise," he said with reluctance. Then he brightened. "Is this like the experiment involving whether a hamster can learn to soldier through a painful electrical stimulation to receive a treat?"

"Not exactly."

"Good, because I don't like painful electrical stimulation. Although I do like treats, especially cookies."

This was it. Amy stepped forward, cupped his face between her hands, and pulled him down for a kiss. He stiffened and gasped, so Amy kept the kiss short. However, when she broke contact with his lips, she kept her hands on his cheeks. He was staring at her with wide eyes, looking shocked.

"Amy! What-"

She kept hold of his face even though he tried to straighten up. "Remember, you gave me your promise as a Texas gentleman."

"Yes, but-"

"Doesn't this make you uncomfortable?"

"Well, yes, but-"

Trying not to be hurt by that, knowing that he was uncomfortable with ALL forms of physical contact and with everyone, not just herself, she smiled. "Good, then I have the basis for the discomforting situation."

"Amy-"

"You promised," she said firmly, before dragging him into another kiss. He kept his hands at his sides, though he moved them aimlessly as if he was trying to push her away and couldn't bring himself to touch her. She ignored that, certain that all she had to do to get past Sheldon's discomfort was to get him used to it, like Bernadette had done with the blue jay. He had grown quickly accustomed to and even fond of the creature after being forced to experience it. She had kissed him before, even if she couldn't remember it, and he hadn't broken up with her over it. Of course, they hadn't been labeled directly boyfriend and girlfriend then.

She finally came up for air. She had kept the kiss close-mouthed so as to not push him too far too fast, but she had still put everything into it. When she pulled back this time, she was unbelievably gratified to see Sheldon slowly open his eyes. She wanted squeal with delight. He had closed his eyes! He had closed his eyes while she kissed him!

"Are you done with the experiment?" he asked weakly.

"No."

As she had told Penny, a kiss was a kiss and she wanted more. Ignoring the panicked look on his face, she moved her hands from his cheeks to his shoulders. She rubbed lightly and he straightened up like his spine had been replaced with a steel rod. Given the difference of their heights, that moved her hands down to his biceps. She gripped more tightly so as to keep him from moving away from her. His panicked expression grew as he felt her trap him.

"You've had two kisses," he said quickly. "A reliable basis for founding a hypothesis."

She glared at him. "Sheldon Cooper, you know very well two instances of anything does not establish a pattern."

He looked frightened that he couldn't come up with an argument for that. It was true, and he knew it. Of course, she wasn't interested in any scientific hypothesis. That had just been the trick. Instead, she risked him moving away and moved her hands to his chest. He jerked back as expected, his lower back striking the arm of the couch. Amy glared and stepped forward to grab his biceps again, pulling him forcefully back to her.

"You promised," she reminded him.

"I didn't know to what I was making a promise when I made it!" he yelled.

"Irrelevant. A promise does not negate just because you're unhappy with what you promised to. Didn't your mother raise you to keep your promises?"

Finally there was a little anger with Sheldon's alarm. "You're manipulating facts toward your own goal."

"A fact is still a fact," she replied, her heart pounding. She had to remain firm. That was the way to deal with Sheldon Cooper, firmness. Don't let him squirm out of something he didn't like. "Did you promise or not?"

"Yes!" Sheldon admitted with reluctance.

"Then shut up," Amy said. She moved her hands back to his chest. He shuddered and twitched, but didn't pull away again. "I am going to attempt to release dopamine levels in your brain through something that makes you uncomfortable. If I succeed, it will further my hypothesis."

Of course the experiment was a sham, but now that she was doing it, the scientist part of her realized that this would be relevant to her research on addiction. May she could include it without mentioning names.

Sheldon stiffened so much she wondered if his muscles were going to snap. He was looking upward above her head, mentally not there. Amy scowled, but didn't stop what she was doing. Let him try to meditate out of this. She dared him.

Amy slid her hands down to his belly, struggling with her own nervousness. She was determined. She was going to do this. It was high time she did.

Sheldon gasped and twitched away from her. Expecting it, she dragged him back. And as she did, she grabbed his hips instead of returning to his stomach. His face was now pale and there was a bit of perspiration on his forehead. She looked up at him and smiled. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides.

Amy stepped closer to him, until they were pressed together. He made a low noise of dismay and she imagined she could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He was breathing a little erratically. Well, the discomforting part of her experiment had certainly been achieved.

Amy wound one arm around Sheldon's waist and kept the other on his hip, rubbing lightly with her fingers. She refrained from touching his posterior. He'd probably faint.

"What exactly are you going to do?" he whispered anxiously. "Attempt to release-"

"HOW?!" he shouted.

"You promised not to drag your heels with every step, and that includes delaying questions. So be quiet and let me continue."

Sheldon closed his eyes. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him again. He turned his head away. Amy settled back on her feet, hurt, but said nothing. Instead, she kept her right arm around his waist to keep him from pulling away from her again and moved her left hand once more over his stomach. He made a whining noise, but she ignored him, instead fascinated with the sensation. Sheldon wasn't exactly an Adonis, but his belly was deliciously flat. She could feel the slight indentation of his belly button and mentally noted that he was an innie. She swirled her thumb around the indentation and Sheldon shuddered.

Amy dropped her eyes lower. Her cheeks heated up as she noted the visible bulge of his genitals outlined by the tight suit. Vascular throbbing accompanied by dry mouth and she knew she was getting aroused.

He wasn't.

Amy was frustrated. What was it going to take to get a sexual reaction out of Dr. Sheldon Cooper?

Sheldon let out a yelp loud enough to probably be heard from the street below the apartment building as she cupped him. He jerked so hard he nearly pulled her off her feet. She tightened her arm around his waist and looked up to see him looking at her with eyes so huge they rivaled those the tarsier of Asia. She smiled up at him.

"Amy!" he shrieked.

She didn't respond. Instead, she rubbed him gently, while inside mentally cataloging the feel. She had seen pictures of male genitalia in science books as well as that of the primates of her research lab, but nothing had prepared her for the feel of him. She could feel a yielding, round object that she knew had to be his scrotum and testicles, as well as the narrower cylinder of his penis.

"Amy, stop," he pleaded.

Amy fortified herself. Of course he was going to try to get out of this. She realized that she was crossing into the illegal territory Penny had been afraid of, but she couldn't stop now. She had to force Sheldon a little. He didn't give her any choice.

"No. You made me a promise and I'm not done yet," she grated. "Are you going to break your promise to me, Sheldon Cooper?"

To her relief and delight and even a little confusion, he didn't answer. Did a promise really mean that much to him?

Or was some small, but growing, part of him wanting this?

She wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. And speaking of growing things, she nearly jumped for joy as she felt a little stirring beneath her rubbing hand. She kept her eyes on Sheldon's face. He was still pale and perspiring, but she noted the faintest dusting of pink on his high cheekbones. Penny was right, he was really cute.

Amy concentrated on gently fondling him. He was shivering against her, his breathing still erratic, but now she wondered if she was imagining a little change in the quality of his distress. Either way, she had to keep herself from reacting as she felt him hardening beneath her ministrations. Unsure if the deepening blush on his cheeks was arousal or embarrassment-probably both-Amy didn't pause. As the suit he was wearing was more or less a wetsuit, she couldn't put her hand down his pants, but she had a feeling that wouldn't be necessary. What she was doing now was definitely getting a sexual reaction.

Sheldon was staring back at her as if hypnotized. His big blue eyes were still bigger… and not so blue. To her glee, they were now bordering on black. The blush on his cheeks was now deep red, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly.

Abruptly Sheldon closed his eyes. Realizing he was trying to retreat into meditation, Amy squeezed him lightly. He yelped, but didn't open his eyes. It didn't matter, as long as his attention was on what she was doing to him.

He was fully erect now. She memorized the feel of him. She hadn't realized it would be so hard, and she could feel his pulse in the rigid flesh. His testicles seemed to have tightened and moved closer to his body. Amy gritted her teeth against another 'hoo.' But she couldn't stop herself from wondering what it would look like. He felt so firm in her hand, and she marveled at the size. What would he feel like inside her?

Sheldon slowly tilted his head back and moaned. A tingle rippled through Amy, centering on her own genitals, as the sound echoed in her ears. She had never felt so sexually aroused in her life. She wanted to rip that suit off his body and straddle him, but instead, fascinated with his reactions, she kept up what she was doing. At the moment, she was more interested in his body than hers.

She could see the tendons straining in his neck. She could see the jut of his chin. When she glanced down, she could see that his still-clenched fists were white-knuckled.

Amy sped up her rubbing, pressing just a little harder into him. Her efforts were rewarded with another moan. He was shaking, his breathing so fast. The bulge throbbed against her hand, and somehow got even harder. Despite her lack of experience in this area, she realized she had brought him to the brink of an orgasm. She briefly wondered if he'd ever had one. The idea of him masturbating sent another tingle to her nether region.

It was also a power trip to have done this to him, get this reaction out of him. Now she knew precisely why romantic partners did activities like oral sex that gave them no physical enjoyment in of itself. Making a partner moan was satisfying on its own.

Amy kept up her ministrations, even though her arm was getting tired. Seeing the jut of Sheldon's jaw, the corded tendons in his neck standing in relief, was exhilarating. Hearing him pant was enthralling. And he was panting now, his breaths coming in loud exhalations from his open mouth. She watched as his chest heaved and nearly fainted herself when his hips moved against her rubbing hand.

"Oh, God!" Sheldon gasped.

Amy watched in open-mouthed amazement as his back arched and she felt the suit under her hand grow warm and sticky. He shuddered spastically against her and then abruptly collapsed. Amy was so surprised that she couldn't stop his fall and he thudded to the carpet. His eyes were open again, half-lidded and so amazingly dark. His face was bright red and his short bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat. She went to help him up, and he held out a hand to stop her, his expression dazed, but angry.

"Don't touch me."

Horrified, Amy stopped in her tracks. "Sheldon-"

"Get out."

"Sheldon, please."

"GET OUT!" he shouted, so loud that her ears rang.

He was ordering her out of her own living room, but she was frightened by the expression on his face. She backed up, then darted into her room and shut the door. She stood there, with bated breath, heart pounding, listening to the silence on the other side of the door. Then came a rustling, heavy footsteps, more rustling, more footsteps, and then the front door slammed hard enough to make the window behind her rattle.

Amy slowly opened her door. On the floor were the sensors and the suit. From her angle she could see enough of the bathroom counter to see that Sheldon's clothes were gone.

So was Sheldon.

Amy turned back into her room, then flung herself on her bed and burst into tears.

She'd ruined everything.


	2. Aftermath

Chapter Two:

Sheldon slammed shut the front door and then leaned heavily against it. He'd walked from Amy's apartment all the way back to his own, and his heart was still beating rapidly against his ribcage. He felt disgusting. His skin was grimy with the salt of his evaporated sweat, his bangs stiff with the same, and, worse of all, his thighs and groin were still sticky with semen.

He pushed himself away from the door just as Leonard came into the living room from his bedroom. "Hey, Sheldon. Hey, something wrong?"

"No. Why would anything be wrong?"

Leonard blinked and shrugged. "You just look kinda flushed is all." He looked worried. "You aren't getting sick, are you?"

"No. I am in perfect health." He reached up and felt his cheeks, wondering if they were really still red after all this time. For some reason, he desperately didn't want Leonard to know what had just happened to him, and he wondered if he was less flushed from the event and instead was blushing. A blush was a natural response in humans to embarrassment. How dreadful. "Nothing is wrong."

"Okay," Leonard said doubtfully.

"What is this, an inquisition?" Sheldon demanded angrily, watching his roommate blink behind his glasses. "I said everything was fine."

"Yeah, I heard you. Why are you getting upset?"

"Why do you always have to push?!" Sheldon shouted, stalking forward toward the bathroom. He had to get a shower. He needed to get clean. He needed to think. "Why can't an answer ever be good enough for you?! You always have to QUESTION EVERYTHING!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he was aware of Leonard flinching away from him as he stormed past him, but he didn't have time to stop and ponder that. He was a mess, in more ways than one.

Once in the bathroom, he stripped naked, stuffing his soiled clothes into the hamper with more violence than normal and jumped into the shower as soon as the water was at the perfect temperature he liked. Thankfully, that didn't take long, as he had used water-resistant tape to mark the perfect position for the lever to be in to get the optimum temperature and his studious reminders to the apartment building's maintenance crews kept the water heater running smoothly so that the heating of the water took only it's usual 10.2 seconds.

Standing beneath the spray, he let the hot water sluice down his skin, wetting it down before he grabbed his favored soap and lathered up his wash cloth. He scrubbed his body, paying special attention to his genital region, determined to erase every trace of evidence. It wasn't until he'd washed his hair and rinsed off all of the soap that he finally started thinking about the situation. He stood beneath the hot water, letting it clash pleasantly against his back and neck while he closed his eyes.

What had happened? He was having a hard time truly getting his grasp on the situation. What had once been likely to be a pleasant date night with Amy had turned into… well, what exactly? He wasn't sure how to categorize the encounter, though certainly Amy had crossed so many boundaries that he felt completely lost.

She had violated him, he knew that much. Though she had already ignored his dislike of physical contact before by holding his hand and even kissing him once while drunk, none of that had really bothered him. And due to her discomfort and embarrassment in the morning following, he had felt sure it would not happen again. But now…

Sheldon didn't know what to think. Part of him considered that her violation of his person ought to be made known to the authorities, but immediately he quashed that mental suggestion. Not only would it require making known the encounter, he really didn't want Amy to go to prison. The thought of her being arrested, tried, and placed behind bars was surprisingly distressful and while he wasn't entirely sure why, he knew he didn't want it to happen.

No, he needed to think of what had happened first and then he could easily come up with a solution. That was how Dr. Sheldon Cooper worked. Once a situation was known in all parts, solving it was a breeze. This couldn't be any different.

Except he already knew that it was. It involved emotions and intimacy and he wasn't familiar or comfortable with either thing.

His eidetic memory was as much as a burden as a boon. With his eyes closed, he could easily replay every second of the encounter like a home movie. Amy had tricked him, that was obvious. She had had no intention of making any sort of experiment at all and had used the pretense to trick him into falling into her trap, which was to get him vulnerable and then take advantage of him.

Despite his anger, confusion, and distress, he felt the slightest bit of pride at his reasoning. Figuring out that the experiment had been nothing but a fabrication, a smoke screen for her real purpose, was not normally something he picked up on. He was a little proud of himself for having realized it this time.

But that was small comfort, of course.

His memory played on without any ability to stop it as he could never forget anything. He could picture Amy's brown eyes behind her glasses as she looked up at him, her sleek brown hair falling down her back. The expression on her face… at the time he had been so shocked and frightened by what she was doing that he hadn't really noticed the look on her face, but now in hindsight he could picture it clearly. And it was something he wasn't sure he recognized. Her cheeks had been red like his, but surely she wasn't embarrassed. She would have stopped if she had been. Her eyes were darker than normal and her skin had seemed to glow somehow. That was an inadequate description for the phenomenon of course, as human skin did not produce any sort of phosphorescence, but he was disturbed to find he couldn't come up with a better word. She had seemed radiant.

And of course there had been what she had done to him. Her lips warm against his, her hand in his most intimate of regions, despite his protests. The way she stared up at him as fondled him… and the pleasure of the act…

Sheldon's eyes shot open and he gasped as he felt a stirring between his legs.

'No, no, no,' he thought wildly, horrified. He refused to look down, instead looking up, staring at a spot above the showerhead, determined to focus on anything but the erection half-formed beneath his belly button. He was not some sex-crazed imbecile. He was a Homo Novus, interested in far more intellectual and worthy pursuits than sexual conquests.

Of course he had had erections before. He was a human male, and as he had told Leonard before, he had functioning genitals. But before, it had always been the so-called 'morning wood' situation that invariably disappeared after a few minutes. This, this was entirely different. This was arousal.

Sheldon jumped as knocking came from the bathroom door. Over the loud spray of the running water, his Vulcan hearing could pick up Leonard's words.

"Sheldon? Are you okay?"

"Fine!" Sheldon shouted back, foolishly cupping himself with his hands as if Leonard could see through to him in the shower and would know he was experiencing sexual arousal.

"You've been in there a while!" Leonard called. "Your showers last fifteen minutes, it's been nearly half an hour. I just wanted to make sure you didn't slip or something."

"You know perfectly well I have my whimsical adhesive ducks in here!" Sheldon snapped.

"What?"

Of course Leonard was not blessed with such sensitive hearing. His small roommate was both lovable and horrendously frustrating. Sometimes Sheldon wondered which emotion reigned more strongly. He reached down and pushed the stop down, turning the cooling water from showerhead to faucet, then turning the handle off.

"I said I have my adhesive duck decals in here just for that very purpose, so that I don't slip and fall in the shower. If you recall, Penny now has stars in her bathtub after suffering a similar mishap-"

"Yeah, okay, I was just checking up on you."

Sheldon pushed open the curtain and stepped out onto the bathroom rug. He grabbed his towel and wound it around his waist, then glared darkly at the hamper where his soiled clothes lay.

Due to his desperation to wash off all traces of what had happened in Amy's apartment, he had broken his usual routine of showering. His pajamas and robe were in his room, folded neatly in his bureau and hanging from his clothes hook on the back of his door respectively. He always brought those items into the bathroom with him so he would be fully dressed when he was finished showering and dried.

Sheldon glanced at the bathroom clock. It was only eight-thirty, too early for his normal bedtime of ten, and if he tried going to bed sooner than normal, he was likely to throw off his entire schedule for the next morning, which meant he'd have to do something else out of routine tomorrow as well in order to put himself back on track. Unacceptable.

With a heavy sigh of frustration, Sheldon grabbed his hair-and-face towel and opened the door to the bathroom before padding down the hall to his bedroom in only the body towel. The air that hit his skin caused goose bumps to rise all along his body and he wondered if he would catch cold from being forced to change up his routine and parade around his apartment wet. Of course, he could only catch a cold if one of the rhinoviruses or similar filth was in the apartment, not from the act of being cold itself, which only lowered his body's defenses, but considering Leonard so irrationally refused to follow a strict hygiene regimen like himself, it was likely those awful things were floating around somewhere. If Amy's actions indirectly led to his becoming sick, that would really put the proverbial icing on the proverbial cake.

In his room, Sheldon scrubbed as much of the excess water from his skin and hair as possible with his towels, then sought out his Thursday pajamas. He dressed himself appropriately, adding his soft robe over his pajamas, then grabbed up the damp towels and headed back to the bathroom to toss them in the hamper. Fresh towels would be added to the towel racks and then maybe he could find some way to distract himself for the rest of the evening before his usual glass of warm milk and bedtime.

Leonard was standing in the adjacent mini-hall that was the entrance to the back half of the apartment layout from the living room and kitchen. He peered at Sheldon through his glasses, one hand picking at the nails of the other, a nervous habit he seemed entirely unaware of when he was speaking with people. He rarely did it with Sheldon any longer, having grown comfortable with him, so the fact that he was doing it now indicated something was on his mind.

"You okay?" Leonard asked, as Sheldon paused beside the bathroom door to yield to the conversation Leonard clearly wanted to have. He was such a chatty fellow.

"Must you ask that again?" Sheldon demanded, feeling irritation welling up again.

"You're acting weird," Leonard said. "Well… weirder." A brief smile flashed across his face at his habitual insult, and Sheldon's temper was frayed beyond salvaging.

"I said I was fine the first dozen times you asked me!" Sheldon yelled, using the customary social convention of exaggeration to properly espouse his anger. "How can I make the statement more obvious so that you can understand it?"

Leonard blinked rapidly behind his glasses. "Sheldon-"

Sheldon stalked into the bathroom, threw the damp towels savagely into the hamper, then grabbed fresh ones from the linen closet and hung them up. Slamming the closet door shut, he found Leonard now blocking the bathroom exit.

"Did something happen with Amy?"

For a brief second, Sheldon was completely at a loss for words. He didn't want Leonard to know, maybe not ever, but certainly not until he had figured out the situation himself and what to do about it. It seemed as if his best recourse was more anger, and a part of him was horrified to discover how easily it came at that moment.

"What business is it of yours?" he growled. "Just because you think you're seeing me 'being weirder,'" Sheldon sarcastically pantomimed quotation marks in the air with his fingers, "that automatically means something happened? Things are fine. F. I. N. E. Fine. Congratulations on making me have to literally spell it out for you."

Leonard's confusion and concern was now melting into the mutual anger that always accompanied their tirades against each other. "Hey, I'm just trying to help! You are acting WEIRDER," he stressed the word viciously, "and I was going to-"

"Help?" Sheldon sneered. "The day you're actually able to help me with anything, Leonard, is the day porcine barnyard animals grow inexplicable-"

"It's 'when pigs fly', Sheldon! The saying is 'when pigs fly'. Why do you always have to say it like such a pompous jackass? And I've had enough of you insulting my intelligence-"

"You should be used to it by now, seeing as how the paradigm is always the same!"

"Is this what happened at Amy's?" Leonard demanded. "Did you piss her off, too, with your uppity attitude? It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

Sheldon's anger was a rich, black poison in his veins. He drew himself up to his full height, towering over the much-smaller Leonard, glaring so hard at his roommate that it was quite possible he would literally set him ablaze. "That is enough," he said, his voice dropping to a soft, but dangerous whisper. "There is nothing to talk about, so be silent. If I have to say it one more time, Leonard, I don't know what I'll do."

Leonard scrambled out of his way as he walked forward, heading into the kitchen. Despite the late hour, he was hungry, and sleep would be even more impossible to get with an empty stomach. His routine was just shot straight to Hell.

As he passed Leonard, he was aware of the wide-eyed gaze his roommate gave him. He looked positively fearful. His stillness was now so complete that Sheldon realized he had literally scared him silent. His own words rang in his ears as he moved around the kitchen like a caged lion. He had just threatened Leonard with bodily harm, the threat even more potent for its vagueness. He had never, even in their greatest of fights, ever threatened to actually hurt his friend. The rage making his blood pressure skyrocket was unprecedented. What was the matter with him?

The front door closed. Sheldon turned around, finding the front room empty.

Leonard had run away from him.

tbc…

A/N: So, this is literally turning into something greater than I originally intended. Initially, the whole thing was going to be from Amy's point of view, but then I got so many requests to see what Sheldon was thinking, hey, why not, and then, hey… how? So that's why this took so long. Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I hope this is what you wanted to see.


	3. Comfort

Chapter Three:

Amy kept it together cleaning up the front room. She kept it together driving from her apartment to the Los Robles Apartment Complex. She kept it together climbing three flights of stairs to Apartment 4B. But when her bestie opened the door and smiled at her, she lost it. Amy burst into tears the instant Penny greeted her, and her startled best friend reached out for her, drawing her into an embrace. For a moment, Amy couldn't even speak, she was crying too hard. Penny drew her into the apartment and shut the door before leading her to the couch to sit down.

"What happened?" she asked with concern.

"I- He- I-"

"Oh, honey, here." Penny hurried into her kitchen, got a glass of water and a handful of napkins, then came back and handed them over. "Sorry, I'm out of tissues."

Amy managed to take a drink of water and then blew her nose on a napkin. Taking a deep breath, she tried to fortify herself enough to make sense when speaking.

"I made a terrible mistake," she said.

"Oh, no, did something happen with Sheldon? Did he break up with you?"

Amy shook her head, then gestured helplessly with her hands. "I don't know." She had already made up in her mind to give an edited version of what had happened the previous night. She knew, as soon as Sheldon had stormed out and slammed the door shut, that she had crossed a line she might never be able to uncross. And she desperately didn't want her best friend to know about it. Or anyone.

After Sheldon had stormed out the previous night, she had laid down on her bed and sobbed uncontrollably for an unknown amount of time. She'd cried until she was physically sick with the convulsions of crying. Hiccupping so hard even she had begun to wonder if she would asphyxiate, she had finally been unable to cry anymore. By that time, with a headache pounding behind her eyes, her chest aching, her throat sore, her eyes grainy and red, just every part of her aching, she had lain miserably on her now-damp sheets, her glasses smashed against her temple, unwilling to move.

She had fallen asleep like that, exhausted from the emotional turmoil. When she had woken up the next morning, it had taken her a moment to remember why she had fallen asleep above her covers, in her clothes, her glasses digging into her face. She had sat up, her glasses falling off her face and onto the bed. Though her vision had been severely blurred by the lack, that didn't stop her from feeling the pain of having fallen asleep as she had.

It was then that Amy had remembered the previous night. Almost immediately she had begun to cry again, but this time the tears were short-lived, her body so drained and exhausted that she had simply could no longer cry.

She had gotten to her feet, looked around helplessly for a long moment, then decided she had no choice but to go on and figure out what to do then, and for that, she had needed advice.

She had needed her bestie.

"Well, what happened?" Penny asked.

"He came over for our date night last night, same as always. I talked him out of going on the date he'd planned, told him I wanted to stay in. I told him I wanted to do an experiment with him, whether someone in an uncomfortable situation could still enjoy a pleasant experience."

Penny blinked and shifted as if she was uncomfortable. Amy ignored her. Her bestie was a wonderful woman, but she never could quite understand how Penny, or Leonard, or really most of her group of friends could act so uncomfortable about the truth, especially when they had asked for it.

"So, I hooked him up to an EEG to monitor his reactions, then I kissed him."

"And he went Dr. Whack-a-doodle on you?"

It was Amy's turn to be confused. "Whack-a-doodle?"

"You know. Sheldon. Freaking out."

"Oh. Yes." Amy was not going to tell Penny about, as the saying went, her getting Sheldon off. In hindsight, she was mortified, and wondered what had come over her. When she'd first met Sheldon, she'd told him coitus was off the table, and she'd meant it. Now, of course, she wanted nothing more than to pin Sheldon to a bed and do every naughty thing she could look up on the internet…

"Amy?"

Amy quickly pulled herself from her thoughts. It was a good thing that female arousal was not as physically evident as a male's. She tried to turn her thoughts back to the problem at hand, and that was the proverbial cold water down the pants. Her fantasies didn't matter; she'd thrown any future opportunity for that right out the window.

"I did a little more than just kiss him," Amy admitted. "I placed my hand on his chest and made it clear I wanted more than that." There, that was an efficient way to put it. Not quite a lie, not quite a revelation.

"Oh. And what he'd do?"

"Stormed out." Amy felt tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Oh, damn you, you idiot." As Amy looked up in her in shock, Penny shook her head. "Not you. I was talking to Dr. Whack-a-doodle."

"But he can't hear you."

"N…Never mind. Look, have you talked to him today?"

Amy shook her head, sniffling. "No."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

Panicked, Amy shook her head rapidly. "NO!"

"O-Okay." Penny blinked in surprise.

Amy couldn't let Penny talk to Sheldon. He'd tell her what she'd done. And, oh, what about Leonard, had Sheldon told him? No, no surely he wouldn't. Surely Sheldon was absolutely disgusted and horrified by the situation.

Tears began running down Amy's cheeks as she suddenly realized her actions could have far more dire repercussions than just making Sheldon break up with her. She realized quite suddenly, right there, that she'd done exactly what Penny had been afraid she'd do. She hadn't just messed with Sheldon, she'd violated him. As Penny had put it, she'd raped him.

"Oh, Amy…"

Penny's sympathetic murmur made it all the worse. Penny should be comforting Sheldon, not her. But she still couldn't bring herself to confess, so she just leaned into Penny when her best friend pulled her into a hug.

Oh, what could she do? She had to apologize to Sheldon. Even if he broke up with her- and she'd deserve it- she had to tell him how sorry she was. She doubted it would help, and she felt physically sick to think of what he must be going through. What had happened to her? She'd been a quiet, reserved, intellectual young woman who dated only to get her mother off her back, having no real interest in any such frivolous pursuits, and now, since meeting Sheldon and his friends, especially her bestie, she was an alcohol-swilling rapist. What kind of monster really dwelled within her?

"Amy, are you sure you don't want me to talk to him? You're really broken up about this."

"No, please, don't."

"Okay, but you can't just let him get all worked up over a little kiss." Penny pushed her back and smiled at her. "I'm sure Sheldon will forgive you. Just let him cool down and then talk to him. Besides," a little smile played over her face, "maybe he just freaked out because he realized how much he liked it and he had to bail. You upset the 'Sheldon order of things' and he had to, you know, fall back and regroup." Penny rolled her eyes. "And that's the last time I play Halo with them, I'm even starting to sound like them. Anyway, he'll be fine. He reacts badly to change, he bitches so much you just want to strangle him, but you know what, eventually he settles down and accepts it and everything's kosher. You know, for the next hour or so until he finds something else to whine about."

Amy froze, studying her best friend. A thought had just entered her head, and she wanted to push it away, but it clung to her stubbornly like Ricky when he wanted another cigarette and she thought he'd had enough.

Could… Sheldon have enjoyed what she'd done to him? Was Penny right, and he'd just been unable to cope with his new experiences and had fled?

tbc…

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. Definitely just needed to move the story along, and let you know what Amy was thinking when she woke up. Thanks for reviews! I look forward to them the most, they make me continue. But so many follows, too, that's great! Thanks!


	4. Considerations

Chapter Four:

Sheldon slowly sat up in bed. His eyes were grainy from lack of his usual nine hours of sleep. Even after he'd thrown together a sandwich to eat, he'd then had to have time for his meal to digest, then warm milk, then brushing and flossing his teeth, before he could even lay down. By the time he'd finally gotten under the covers, it was almost eleven-thirty and he always woke precisely at six in the morning.

Though he felt as foggy and achy from lack of sleep as if he were coming down with a dreaded cold, Sheldon threw back the covers and climbed from bed. His previous night's routines had been thrown out of the window, so he'd be damned if he would allow his morning to start out the same way.

Sheldon padded sleepily into the bathroom, batting the light on with a careless smack, then studied himself in the mirror. His face was pale, his eyes bloodshot and half-lidded, his hair mussed. He looked dreadful, like a bum.

Fifteen minutes later he looked much better, even if he didn't feel much better. He had combed his hair, shaved, brushed his teeth, applied Lysine to his eyes, and changed into his Friday outfit. At least he felt better in the sense that routine was soothing.

Finished, he wandered out into the living room toward the kitchen, and it was then he realized that Leonard was missing. Out of the corner of his eye, as he exited the bathroom, he had seen Leonard's bedroom door open, so he knew he wasn't in there, and the living room and kitchen were equally devoid of the smaller physicist. After being frightened out of the apartment by an unnaturally wrathful Sheldon, his roommate appeared to have not returned.

Sheldon wasn't afraid for his safety. Undoubtedly Leonard had sought shelter with Penny… No that wasn't right. If he'd gone to Penny's, he would have told Penny why, and the blonde would surely have come over here, raising Cain herself until she found out why Sheldon was in such a temper.

Well, then, Koothrapali's or perhaps Wolowitz's. Perhaps even a hotel.

Sheldon began making himself his breakfast, and began to think. This time his thoughts were focused on Leonard, as he very carefully kept Amy at the back of his mind for now.

He had truly scared Leonard. That was something he had never expected to ever accomplish in his life- being physically threatening to someone. It wasn't just not in his nature as a Homo Novus, it wasn't in his stature. Tall he might be, but he was nearly as weak as a kitten, he was loath to admit.

Then again, Leonard was even worse. Though he appeared more muscular than Sheldon, who could forget the time that Sheldon had loosened the jar of white asparagus for Leonard to open in front of Dr. Stephanie Barnett, and he hadn't even been able to accomplish that? No, he had smacked it on the counter to loosen it further, then misjudged and broke it open, slicing his hand in the process. Not to mention Sheldon was nine inches taller than him. To someone so small, even he must have seemed intimidating.

Sorting through his emotions, something that always took time, and was always bothersome, Sheldon realized he felt bad. Leonard had only been trying to help. His prying was annoying, but he had been trying to help. As a friend. Sheldon had not been a friend to him in return.

Well, what to do? He supposed he could wait until Leonard came home, and then apologize. But what then? Leonard was such a prying type. Surely he would want to know the reason for Sheldon's behavior. Sheldon would have to come up with a plausible lie, and doing that seemed about as impossible as learning to drive. It simply wasn't within his skill set.

When seven-thirty came around, Leonard still hadn't returned, which meant that he wasn't coming to take Sheldon to work.

That was fine. Sheldon had decided he didn't want to go to work anyway. Until he came up with a solution to his emotional mess, he wouldn't be safe around his companions. As Leonard had pointed out, he was acting 'stranger than normal' and they would notice. And even if they didn't, Leonard would tell Howard and Raj about the previous night, and the three of them would harass him until he either caved or exploded. Better to play hooky.

Picking up the phone, he dialed the university's office and told them he was ill. As he didn't have a scratchy throat or stuffy sinuses, he decided to opt for digestive distress. It would do the job as well as make it unlikely the secretary would want many details, and he was right. She simply told him she would note him as being absent due to illness, wished him a good day, and hung up before he could respond.

Now left to his own devices for the day, Sheldon did the dishes from his customary Friday morning breakfast, then considered what to do. Now his Friday routine was messed up, as he would normally being going to work with Leonard, which would fill his day until 530, at which time he'd come home, have dinner, and play vintage video games with the boys before bed. Instead, it was just before eight and he had nothing to do.

Pacing around the apartment, he decided to fully sanitize and organize the kitchen. Despite his rules and the Roommate Agreement, Leonard shirked some of his duties, and Sheldon invariably cleaned up after him like a den mother. For some reason, he had grown to overlook the majority of Leonard's smaller failures in his half of their arrangement. If he were to acknowledge the truth, he knew Leonard did the same for him, though why Sheldon's personality quirks annoyed him was beyond the theoretical physicist. He wasn't the one who left bread crumbs on the counter or failed to properly rinse coffee pot after its use. He wasn't the one who left water spots on the bathroom faucet after brushing his teeth or forgot to dust the knick-knack and book shelves when it was his turn to clean the living room. Honestly, what did Leonard have to complain about?

Well, at this point in time, he had the fact that Sheldon had run him out of his own apartment. There was that.

Although, in his quest to make the kitchen so clean that surgery could be performed on the gleaming counter of the kitchen island-an act which he hoped would never occur, as he would then never be able to eat in there again knowing that someone's blood had spilled onto the formica-he realized that he hadn't made himself toast for his breakfast, and yet there were bread crumbs there that he hadn't seen the previous night. In making himself his sandwich the previous night, he would have never have left breadcrumbs; it was second nature to him to clean up after himself, and he doubted even his emotional upheaval would have made him forget to do so. That meant only one thing-that while he was sleeping, Leonard had snuck back into the apartment, perhaps spent the night in his bed, then got up extra early to make himself a small breakfast and leave before Sheldon woke at his customary time. It made more sense than him spending the night wandering the mean streets of Pasadena without taking refuge in at one of their friends' places.

A quick glance into Leonard's bedroom at the end of the hall confirmed his suspicions. Despite his insistence that Leonard make his bed every morning, that morning the covers were disheveled and the shirt Leonard had been wearing the previous night lay on the floor.

Sheldon was tempted to make Leonard's bed and retrieve his laundry, but he backed out of the room instead, deciding that what to Leonard would be an invasion of his privacy shouldn't follow right on the heels of threatening him with violence.

That had to be taken care of. Sheldon felt guilty, and he hated feeling guilty. But what to do? His mother had never taught him the social convention of what to do when one threatens a friend during a fight. He supposed what he should do was decide on what mood Leonard must be feeling. If he was sad because of the altercation, then a hot beverage was in order.

Of course, he wasn't there for Sheldon to either offer him that beverage, or ascertain whether that was the proper emotion. In fact, as Sheldon considered, he supposed anger was also a likely result. And perhaps hurt feelings. What did one offer when one hurt a friend's feelings?

Well, the social convention of the South was to bring over a favored food dish when one wanted to either greet a newcomer or make amends with an acquaintance. Food was often the answer in the South, and Sheldon had never fully shaken his Southern nuances upon arriving in California several years ago.

The idea of making a dish to soothe Leonard's hurt feelings made Sheldon feel better, so he proceeded to do that. All casseroles were out, because of Leonard's lactose intolerance and tendency toward migraines with things like sulfites, which meant none with wine sauces. The other common type of dish brought to a friend was a dessert, so Sheldon decided to settle with that, and make Leonard's favorite, German Chocolate Cake.

The apartment had the ingredients, as Leonard had bought the items for his favorite treat some time back and then never got around to do it, as his cooking prowess was only slightly better than Penny's and Sheldon hadn't had reason before now to do it himself. The only thing missing was the pecans, but Sheldon was pretty sure Leonard would overlook that. Unlike Sheldon, Leonard could, somehow, overlook when things weren't the way they should be.

With the cake put together and in the oven, Sheldon was left with nothing to do.

'This is absurd,' he thought. 'Without my routine, I'm as lost as Penny would be in a differential calculus class.'

The thought brought a faint amused smile to his lips, but it was short lived, because the point of it remained. What to do?

And, of course, with nothing to do, there was nothing to take his mind off of Amy.

Sheldon groaned and flopped into his spot on the couch with extremely unusual sloppiness.

Amy.

What to do about THAT situation? He had Leonard's pretty well figured out, but this one was still well beyond figured out. Why had Amy done that?

But he knew why, of course. As Howard had been so happy to point out on multiple occasions, Sheldon's lack of sexual appetite was well out of the norm, and even another Homo Novus like Amy Farrah Fowler was still more a slave to her biological drives than was proper. Sheldon's balking and deflection of the topic was not enough to quell her curiosities and urges, and while spaying a human being was illegal, at more than one time Sheldon had considered the consequences.

In olden times, the unenlightened doctors of the age believed that the body was made up of four humors, and that any imbalance of the four caused extreme physiological or psychological changes in an affected person, with the excess of the humor of blood being responsible for passionate and amorous behavior. In more modern, but still disproved, theories suggested that a female not released of her urges had them build up until she reached sexual hysteria that had to be treated to return her to a normal, proper person. All hogwash, of course, but sometimes Sheldon could see how they'd come to be theories in the first place.

Because it was quite obvious that Amy had had an excess of those sexual urges, and had finally snapped under the pressure. And the end result of that was to molest Sheldon in her apartment's living room.

Sheldon shuddered and sat up. If he didn't find some sort of release of his own from this emotional drama, he'd go crazy.

But he still couldn't turn Amy in. He just couldn't, because he knew that her intent hadn't been to hurt him. The look of horror on her face when Sheldon yelled at her not to touch him was enough to convince him of that. Nevertheless, could he forgive her for it? She knew perfectly well his views on sex and physical touching, and he'd already overlooked the drunk-fueled kiss in her apartment.

That kiss. Sheldon had pushed it from his mind, but now he remembered it quite clearly. She'd been ridiculously drunk, all thanks to Penny and Bernadette, dragging Sheldon to a dance hall, and then forcing him to see her safely to her door. And in that corrupted state, though she'd still been able to provide him with the amazing insight of social workings that was one of the reasons he respected her, she had been completely uninhibited and had leaned across the couch to kiss him right on the mouth.

The kiss. Completely caught off guard, he'd been unable to say anything except, "Fascinating." And then she'd felt the other expected results of her night of drinking and quickly adjourned to the bathroom to vomit violently into the toilet, after which the incident had ended and Sheldon had had no more reason to remember. Until now.

Sheldon bit his lip. This time, Amy had no way to excuse her behavior on alcohol. Sheldon was certain she hadn't had a drop last night. That left no other course than to admit she'd done it on purpose, and with full knowledge of what she was doing.

Sheldon got to his feet, fidgeting. He was no closer to a solution to this situation than he'd been before. Amy had violated his person on purpose, but without malicious intent. That left him with quite a moral quandary. Did he forgive Amy, and set up the possibility of further breaches of his trust or did he dissolve their boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend paradigm with her, insuring he didn't have to experience this ever again, but never seeing her again in the process? Loath as he was to admit, Leonard had been right about his surprising need for Amy in his life, that had manifested in a collection of cats the time they had dissolved the paradigm before. A repeat did not appeal to Sheldon.

Meditation! The idea popped into his brilliant mind. Of course, that was the solution! Like his idol Mr. Spock, he could meditate this emotional turmoil away.

So he settled himself down on his favorite spot on the couch again, closed his eyes, and concentrated with all of his might to empty his mind and clear his thoughts and remove himself from the situation.

Twenty minutes later, and his patience was wearing thin. A dozen times already, his thoughts had strayed back to Amy. It seemed everything remind him of her, now. Mr. Spock and Star Trek itself even, for he was baffled as to how she could despise the greatest show in the history of television, but she did.

'That's it,' he thought, getting to his feet. 'She has got to go. She's interrupting my thoughts and destroying my routines and she hates Mr. Spock. As Mother would say, that hound won't hunt.'

He turned to the phone sitting on the table, intending to call her and inform her that their friendship was terminated.

His hand hesitated over the phone. He didn't want to hear her voice at the moment. He wasn't sure what she would say to him.

Very well, then, a text.

But his cell phone rested in his hands without being used. For some reason, he couldn't do it. The thought of terminating his relationship with Amy was simply distressing. Why? She deserved it. It was the logical thing to do!

But he didn't want to.

Sheldon sighed. He really wished, not for the first time, that his mother was here. He had always been able to go to her for advice, and even if she didn't always give him the advice he wanted, she was seldom wrong. Mary Cooper was no brilliant scientist like her middle child, but when it came to down-home wisdom, she couldn't be beat. Of course, there was the problem of having to tell her about Amy to begin with, and that made him uncomfortable. He could normally tell his mother, or anyone, anything involving his thoughts or his body. He'd told his mother about Amy on multiple occasions as well. But he'd never told her about the kiss, or anyone for that matter, and the idea of telling her about this made him feel strangely ashamed. So he couldn't tell his mother about it. Especially since he didn't want to send her on a rant about sexual perversion and the world's fall from God's grace. Little to anything sent her off on a religious tangent and that only distracted from the real focus of a problem, and he was too frazzled at the moment to put up with it.

Sheldon brightened. Not his mother, but someone else's. Leonard's! Mrs. Hofstadter was a world-renowned psychiatrist and a woman who he sometimes wished was his own mother. He could talk to her about anything at all. She'd understand what he was feeling, and maybe she would have the right advice. If she ended up making the decision for him, all the better.

But it turned out that was going to be a dead-end, too. A call to her office informed him that she was taking a leave of absence to attend an awards ceremony of Leonard's sister in Baltimore that would last all weekend. Undoubtedly something she considered silly, but social protocol demanded she attend, just as social protocol had demanded Sheldon send her flowers while she was in the hospital, though neither he nor she enjoyed flowers.

Sheldon wondered if Leonard knew about the awards ceremony. Perhaps not. He rarely interacted with his mother, having some entirely baffling problem with her, and had even less contact with his siblings. In fact, Sheldon realized he himself didn't have quite as much contact with her as he used to, in that he hadn't known about this. He'd have to reconnect.

In the meantime, he was still stuck with his problem and no one to talk to. The idea of spending the entire weekend with this over his head was inconceivable. If just one day had him scaring Leonard out of the apartment, if he let this fester in his mind, who knew what it would manifest as?

Finally, at wit's end, and with the time reading only eleven o'clock, Sheldon turned to his computer. He'd told Leonard to talk to strangers on the internet for advice when he himself was no good for Leonard's problems, so now Sheldon could do that himself. When it came to educational matters, he'd never think to ask for help from the masses who stalked the internet, but when it came to emotional matters, he had to admit that other people had an advantage over him. It was time to use that advantage.

Sheldon booted up his computer and then sat in front of it, contemplating where to go. Well, first he had to categorize the problem. And the only phrase that popped into his head was sexual harassment. So he tried that.

Innumerable returns came back on Google. The first several were sites dedicated to informing people what constituted sexual harassment in various situations and where to report it. One was even a Facebook page for people who had been victims. And at the bottom, he found a link to a chatroom for people who had been victims to seek help anonymously.

Sheldon hesitated, then clicked on it. The loaded page was a typical chatroom, where different fonts of various colors indicated the different people taking part in the discussions. There were nine others this morning, not including Sheldon. Some had chat names that were common on the internet, such as DollBaby80 and SuzySaysHi, but there was one who's handle was 1AngryBitch and she was in the middle of ranting about men and their evil intentions while someone named QTCute was trying to diffuse her.

The chatroom asked him to make a name for himself. At the top above the word space for the name was a small disclaimer stating that the room was not to take place of reporting instances of sexual harassment or rape or to take the place of professional help. It urged the participants to always report crimes against themselves or others and to seek help if they needed it. It also warned participants in the chat to remain anonymous and use fake names for themselves and anyone else they mentioned while in the chat room. It also offered numbers for people to call to report crimes both anonymous and in person to police and advocacies.

Sheldon sat staring at the place for him to make a fake name for himself to participate in the chat, while 1AngryBitch's rant scrolled across the background in red, interspersed with QTCute's pale blue print and occasionally the others' colors. Sheldon was at a lack for a name he could use. Whenever he was on the internet, he used Sheldor as his handle. And if he was supposed to be anonymous, he couldn't use anything that would point to him, like physicist, Pasadena, Captain James T. Kirk, or trains. Any of those things might lead someone to figure out his identity, and the site insisted he couldn't do that. He didn't know what sort of resources people might have to find out identities, and while he didn't know why anyone would try, he could rarely fathom people's motivations. The point was, the website had warned him to remain anonymous to the best of his ability, so he was obligated to do that.

For a moment he considered turning away from the website entirely. This was ludicrous, an emotional problem, and Sheldon hated those. He lived for intellectual matters, and emotions were troublesome, worrisome, and bothersome, but he did have them, and try as he might to lead the path of Vulcan enlightenment, he simply wasn't Vulcan. That was a failure he had to live with.

Finally, Sheldon shook his head and turned back to the computer. He was human, it was a burden he had to shoulder. Even Mr. Spock concluded that humans were humans, and had to deal with their human problems their own way.

And an innocuous username seemed safest. So he typed the first thing that came to mind: Blue92. It rhymed, and it was his favorite color, but it seemed too mundane to be linked to him. A lot of people liked the color blue, including girls, and he wasn't born in '92, didn't live at an address with 92 in it, wasn't 92 inches tall, and didn't weigh a number that contained nine or two. That had to be safe.

He clicked the okay button and the window disappeared, leaving only the chat room. But once that was accomplished, Sheldon had no idea what to say, so he just sat there, watching the text go by on the screen. AngryBitch was still ranting, but in a more subdued manner, as QTCute and someone named 24giveIsDivine talked her down. Four other people in the room seemed to be having their own conversation interspersed with the one of the first three, and were talking about the pros and cons of their own methods of treatment to their personal incidents.

Sheldon sat for several minutes without typing, watching the conversations, and began to question having come here. He could solve the problem on his own; wasn't that how he always operated?

He was about to click out when a small window popped up at the bottom left of the screen, indicating that the only other silent user, NoMeansNo, had sent him a private message. Part of the message was displayed in the window: Welcome to the chat. If you need help or a one-on-one, I'm here…

Sheldon stared at it for a moment. Then clicked on Accept.

tbc…

A/N: Sorry it's been forever. Unfortunately, that's how I am. I can only write when I get the bug. But I do want to finish this, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the reviews and the urges to continue. I hope you like how this story goes. I debated on giving Sheldon the need to seek help, but the storyline came to me, so I went with it. I don't think he'd just forgive her on his own, but that he wouldn't destroy their relationship either, and that it was in keeping with his character that he might seek help and not know where to go, so just blindly stumble into it. Well, that's all for now. I'll try to be faster next time.


	5. NoMeansNo

A/N: Heads up: A lot of this chapter is going to be written in a text message format.

Chapter Five:

The small window that had invited him to the private chat expanded, allowing him to read the whole message that NoMeansNo had sent. "Welcome to the chat. If you need help or a one-on-one, I'm here for you. I started this chat myself in 2007 after my own incident. I'll explain it to you if you like, but I wanted to give you some rules. 1: Always be polite and understanding. Never harass, embarrass, or pick a fight with anyone. 2: Always remain anonymous, both with yourself and everyone you speak about. Never use real names, not even of the criminal. 3: Never try to find out the real name or address of anyone, and NEVER try to get someone to tell you what happened to them if they don't want to discuss it. 5: As I'm the moderator and owner of the site, I'm here for everyone. If you have any problems with anyone, please come to me instead of trying to handle it yourself. As you saw in the introduction, I can give you plenty of resources to get yourself professional help, if you can't yourself. You can just call me No. I saw that you were sitting for a while without saying anything. It's always difficult to start. Why don't we start with what you'd like to call yourself?"

Sheldon read the whole message in less than fifteen seconds, but it took him a good minute to decide how to respond. Finally, he started with the simple beginning the moderator had given him.

Blue92: Call me Blue

NoMeansNo: That works. So, Blue. First thing, are you okay? Were you physically injured or in a dangerous situation? I don't need or want any details of who you are or where you are, but if you're hurt or in danger, I can get you some help indirectly.

Blue92: I'm fine.

NoMeansNo: Okay. Would it be okay if I continued to talk with you a while, or would you like to join the chat?

Sheldon glanced at the regular chat window, where the brightly colored conversations were still scrolling across the screen. 1AngryBitch had blazed up again, insisting that segregation of the sexes wouldn't be such a bad thing, because men in high places indoctrinated younger men to be women-objectifying sleazebags. A user who Sheldon had seen participating in the other conversation had now joined QTCute and 24give, whose handle was inexplicably EndofdaRoad, was arguing that AngryBitch was being just as sexist lumping all men together. The fast-paced conversations were strangely alarming to Sheldon. A lot of anger, and he hated fights. He hated yelling. He hated confrontation.

Blue92: That would be preferable.

NoMeansNo: Great. We can talk for as long as you'd like. Have you spoken about what happened to you with anyone?

Blue92: No.

NoMeansNo: May I ask why?

Blue92: I don't want anyone to know.

NoMeansNo: I understand. I didn't either. But I urge you to report what happened to the authorities.

Blue92: I don't want her to be put in jail.

NoMeansNo: Her? Are you male or female?

Sheldon frowned, before typing his response. Why would his gender matter?

Blue92: Male. Is that wrong somehow?

NoMeansNo: Of course not! Please don't think that's what I meant. Men can be sexually assaulted, too. In fact, I'm hoping that attitudes on that will change. Way too many people think that men can't be raped, especially by women. So much so that even fewer men report their attacks than women.

Sheldon hesitated, briefly feeling what he believed was the beginnings of an anxiety attack. Rape. That horrible word seemed to burn on the screen. Was that what happened to him? Had Amy raped him? He was no real innocent, not in mind. He knew perfectly well what sex was, how it was performed, and that any sexual acts that were unwanted could be considered a form of rape. Sexual assault for sure. But was that what had happened? Best to find out from someone who knew firsthand.

Blue92: I'm not sure if it was rape. Or sexual assault. Or wrong.

He expected NoMeansNo to laugh at him, at least in manner. He of course couldn't hear the moderator's voice. Instead, No's response was kind.

NoMeansNo: I understand. It can be hard to classify. Do you mind telling me what happened? Or would you prefer I told you what happened to me first? That might help.

Sheldon wasn't sure how that would help. And he really didn't want to know. He'd come here for help with his problem from someone who didn't know him. He didn't want to hear someone else's problems instead. And NoMeansNo seemed to be doing fine, so he or she didn't need Sheldon's help. Which was good, because he wouldn't be able to help. He was the one who needed help.

Blue92: I have a girlfriend. She has wanted to have coitus for a long time, but I find the idea repulsive. I always have.

NoMeansNo: Are you homosexual?

Sheldon stared at the message in surprise.

Blue92: No!

NoMeansNo: I'm sorry. I'm just trying to understand. Are you asexual?

Sheldon contemplated the question. He supposed that was largely what he could be considered, if he had to put a label on himself. He hated labels. Labels confined people, and what label could ever fully explain the great Sheldon Cooper?

Blue92: I don't know.

NoMeansNo: That's okay. The point is, she wanted sex, and you didn't. Right?

Blue92: Correct. I made that abundantly clear.

NoMeansNo: And she forced you to have sex? Did she threaten you?

Alarmed, Sheldon quickly typed a negative response.

Blue92: Amy never threatened me!

NoMeansNo: No names!

Sheldon thought fast. Of course he did.

Blue92: That's not her name. That's the name I thought I'd use if I had to.

Sheldon wasn't sure if NoMeansNo believed him, but he or she let it go. But why wouldn't they believe him? It was a clever lie. Although a small part of Sheldon felt bad both about lying and about giving Amy's name. What if, somehow, that got out and got her into trouble? Maybe this really wasn't such a good idea.

NoMeansNo had typed another message: Okay. Then, if you're able to, why don't you give me a few more details? What exactly did happen? I really want to help you. I wish I had these resources when it happened to me.

Sheldon heard the kitchen timer go off. The cake was ready. He was glad for the interruption. He got up and retrieved the cake, turning off the oven, then triple-checking it was off. He set the cake in a cooling rack. He checked that it was fully cooked. He checked that he had the right frosting. He checked that the oven was off again. Then he realized that he finding any excuse to stay in the kitchen.

Back at the computer, he saw that NoMeansNo had sent another message apologizing for pushing him and telling him he didn't have to say anything he didn't want to. Somehow, that was better. Sheldon gave a shortened version of the events, though he made sure not to mention that Amy was a neuroscientist. In fact, he managed to make it sound more like a game gone wrong than an sham experiment set up to take advantage of him. When he was finished, NoMeansNo had the answer that he realized he'd been dreading all along.

NoMeansNo: Sounds like sexual assault to me. I really urge you to contact the authorities, Blue.

Blue92: I don't want her to get into trouble.

NoMeansNo: I don't think you think it was sexual assault. Do you?

Blue92: I'm not sure. That's why I came here.

NoMeansNo: I see. Would 'Amy' ever hurt you? I mean, has she, or do you think she would?

Blue92: Never. I never expected her to do this.

NoMeansNo: I hate to say this, and please don't shut down on me. First, I want you to know, it's *never* the victim's fault. If something happened to you that you didn't want to happen, that's a crime. But, is it possible 'Amy' thought you'd be okay with it? Could she have read you wrong?

Sheldon already knew his answer.

Blue92: No. She knew I would never have wanted that. I have always made it clear that I find coitus and physical touching repellant.

NoMeansNo: I see. Then, may I ask, why are you hesitant to go to the authorities, or at least let someone you trust know about it?

Blue92: I don't want her to get into trouble.

This was going nowhere. Why had Sheldon thought he could ever get good advice from someone else, let alone someone on the internet? The internet had its uses, but as for the masses on it, they had none.

NoMeansNo: I understand. Tell me this. Do you think she thinks it was sexual assault? How did she react afterwards?

Sheldon blinked, dumbfounded. He remembered the horrified look on Amy's face. The way she'd tried to help him up when he'd fallen to the floor, and the way she'd almost looked like Sheldon had slapped her when he told her not to touch him. He'd already realized that her reaction didn't match up to her actions, and now NoMeansNo seemed to think so, too.

Blue92: She seemed upset.

NoMeansNo: People can seem upset afterwards. Sometimes it's real, sometimes it's a ploy. 'Baby, I'm so sorry, it'll never happen again.' But it does. It did to me. But you didn't really answer my question. Do you think 'Amy' meant to force you? Or was it something that just got out of hand?

Sheldon sat back in his chair and thought. But how could he think anything other than she meant to do it, even if he said no? He had said no. He told NoMeansNo as much.

NoMeansNo: But you seem to want me to tell you it wasn't assault. Is that right?

Blue92: No. You should, if that's what it is.

NoMeansNo: I have to be honest with you, I don't know what it is. I only know what you told me. I don't know what went on in her head, or yours even, really. But from what you've told me, I think that you don't want to it to be assault, because you're not ready to give up whatever the relationship was. Let me ask you this. Even if she forced you, do you think she was being malicious? Do you think the intent was just to demean you or force you to give her what she wanted?

Sheldon considered again. Finally, he shook his head, even though NoMeansNo couldn't see him.

Blue92: No.

NoMeansNo: That's what rape is. It's not about the sex. It's about power and hatred and hurting someone.

Blue92: She doesn't hate me.

NoMeansNo: Do you hate her?

Blue92: No!

Sheldon had typed it that way without even thinking about it. Now he was shocked by the vehemence of his reply. But it was true; he didn't hate Amy. Again, the thought of never seeing her again sent a strange, uncomfortable twist through his guts. It was like seeing her having a good time with Stuart. It was anger and hurt and the feeling that he had to have Amy in his life. He felt panicky. Again. This was all so much, so much emotion, and he hated it, he hated it, but he was not the Vulcan he wished he was.

NoMeansNo: I didn't think so. Blue, I think this site isn't for you. I think what happened to you was unexpected, and you deserve one hell of an apology, and it's up to you and no one else what you do now, but from what you've told me, and how you see it, I don't think you belong here.

Sheldon sat there in silence and stillness, mulling that over.

NoMeansNo: If you feel differently, I'm sorry. I'm still here to help you get help. I can only tell you what it looks like to me.

Sheldon typed again without really thinking about it.

Blue92: What happened to you?

NoMeansNo: To me? When I was sixteen years old, I dated a boy who was just about to turn eighteen. He was gorgeous, a star athlete, and smart, too. Not just a dumb jock. He could play the guitar, the piano, and was great at soccer, baseball, and football. It was like he was born to do everything. He was everyone's best friend. Everyone loved him. I was pretty popular, too. I was head cheerleader, had pretty good grades myself, was Homecoming Queen and he was my King. But I'd always been religious, and I never wanted to give myself before marriage. 'Max' kept urging me to do it, promising me he wouldn't tell anyone, and that my ideas were dumb and old-fashioned and I was a cold fish. One night I got fed up. I told him I was breaking up with him, and that if he wanted it so bad, he could get it from anyone else. He told me he did, and I told him that he'd be fine without me. I started to go, and he grabbed my arm. An hour and a half later, he dumped me in the front lawn of my house, so torn up I couldn't walk, bruised all over. I had broken ribs, a broken cheekbone, broken fingers from trying to punch him off me. I had to have surgery. I'll never be able to have kids. That's how much he tore me up. When the cops arrested him, and I was in the courtroom, he looked me right in the eyes and said it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been such a bitch. Like it was my fault. And do you know what I did?

Sheldon read the message with a growing sense of nausea. That was not what Amy had done. It wasn't even in the same ballpark, wasn't even in the same universe. There was none of that rage, that cold indifference, that even Sheldon could pick up through the words. Amy could never be like that. Sheldon didn't want to know what she'd done, but he knew it would be rude to say so.

Blue92: What?

NoMeansNo: I believed him. I know, that sounds stupid, and it was. I was only seventeen by the time the court stuff was over with. I believed him. I was afraid to go out, afraid to be around any guy by my dad and my brother. Both of whom would have killed Max in a heartbeat if they'd had the chance. Every other guy was a monster waiting to jump on me. And once I realized that wasn't the case, I began to believe I had asked for it. I'd always believed I was hot, and I dressed and acted that way. I was told I was all the time. And once Max raped me, I started thinking that doing so made him hurt me. I started wearing the most unflattering, dumpy clothing I could. No makeup, no jewelry. When Max got out of prison, he moved on and I never heard from him again. There was nothing about him in my life anymore, but he was still there, everywhere, altering how I dressed, how I looked, how I acted, how I thought.

Sheldon wasn't sure what to say. This was terrible, and so completely different from his own situation. He saw some parallels. Amy was in his thoughts constantly, and he had changed his behavior a bit. He was angry, he was hurt. He was sick and worried and ashamed. But it still wasn't like this.

NoMeansNo: For six years I let what had happened to me completely ruin my life. I pulled away from all of my friends, could stand no one to be anywhere near me but my family. They moved for me, took me someplace no one knew what had happened, and it didn't help, not at first. But finally it did. I was able to breathe again. I went to college late, but it seemed like a new beginning. I never wore makeup or sexy clothes again, but I could be in public again without wondering if everyone was thinking about what had happened and whether I'd deserved it. And then I met 'Alex'. He was a nice guy a year younger than me in my French History class. Over the next four years, we got closer as friends until one day he snuck a kiss. I know now it was just an innocent thing, but at that time, it was Max all over again. I freaked out. I clawed his face, screamed so loud everyone on campus was looking. I only stopped running when one of the drama teachers literally caught me. I couldn't stop shaking. I vomited all over everything. They had to sedate me.

Sheldon was now reading with a sense of morbid fascination. Every word seemed to cement further in his mind how different what Amy had done was different than what Max had done.

NoMeansNo: When I woke up, I was in the hospital and my parents were there. The police were there. They took my statement, and at the time, all I could say was that Alex had kissed me and I'd freaked out. I had to tell them I'd been raped. I had to tell them I thought it was happening again. One of the officers looked at me like I was crazy. The other one, do you know what he said? He said that they'd talked to Alex and the only thing Alex had to say was that he was sorry and he hoped I was okay. Right then I knew that what Max had done had ruined me in more ways than I could count. I've never seen Alex again. I've never been on a date again. I live alone. I'm forty-five now.

Sheldon shivered. He felt the need, somehow, to defend Amy.

Blue92: I'm sorry. That's not what Amy did to me.

NoMeansNo: I know. I think you know, now, too. I think somehow you just didn't understand and you needed help understanding. That doesn't make it right. That doesn't make you wrong. If you can't forgive her, that's not wrong. If you can forgive her, that's not wrong either.

Blue92: I don't want her out of my life.

Sheldon watched the words move across the screen like they'd been typed by someone else.

NoMeansNo: Then don't let her out of your life, if that's what you want.

Blue92: But she wants what I don't.

NoMeansNo: Maybe that's the way it has to be. Maybe you can't give her what she wants. Not just you don't want to, maybe you can't. If she does care about you, if you're sure she does, if you're sure what happened to you is not what happened to me, then she'll understand. She'll have to realize that.

Sheldon sat mulling that over.

Blue92: Thank you. I think I know what happened now.

NoMeansNo: I'm glad to help.

Blue92: Did you ever get help?

NoMeansNo: Yes. Just last year. I waited too long. I let what happened eat at me. I don't want that to happen to you, or anyone else. If you still need help, call the hotline at the top. I can't tell you I know everything. I'm not a professional. I'm just some lady on the internet who wants to help people she doesn't know, so they don't have to experience what she did.

Blue92: Thank you.

NoMeansNo: You're welcome.

Blue92: I'm sorry your life was ruined.

That seemed inadequate, but Sheldon felt it was only good social graces to offer some form of condolences.

NoMeansNo: Two days ago, I accepted a position with a law firm. I earned my Master's online, because I couldn't face anyone. Until I met my therapist and she helped me. Now I think I'm ready to take that step. But that's why I'm here, now. To be a bridge for those who need one, but don't have one.

Sheldon glanced again at the scrolling window of text that was the chatroom. 1AngryBitch was gone.

Blue92: The Angry B-word didn't seem like she was helped.

NoMeansNo: Not everyone can be. Not easily. All I can do is try. It depends on the situation.

Blue92: Good luck with your law firm.

NoMeansNo: Thank you. And good luck yourself.

Sheldon signed off. Then he sat at his computer, looking at the black screen, and thinking.

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I hope you are still enjoying this story. I hope this seemed in character. I really think Sheldon is the type of person who would have to have someone help him see what he really feels.

Also, I'm sorry about the mistakes. Since beginning this, I've decided to make it a sort of floating timeline. Too much good stuff has happened in recent real BBT episodes for me to ignore. This story was originally going to be a oneshot, and where it was originally placed seemed to fit it perfectly, but when people asked for a continuation, I realized that it needed more of the real story in it. So, please realize that certain things are just going to change to fit the expanded storyline. Amy and Sheldon are currently in a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship post-Season Six Premiere. Penny and Leonard are in their own relationship as it currently stands. Howard and Bernadette, if I decide they will make an appearance, are married and Raj and Stuart are Raj and Stuart. Think of this storyline as somewhere between The Holographic Excitation and The Tangible Affection Proof.


	6. Decision

Chapter Six:

Amy sighed as she lay in bed. She couldn't sleep. Again. Since the incident with Sheldon earlier in the week, she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything. At work that day, she'd broken two beakers and a graduated cylinder, completely destroyed a monkey's brain sample, therefore losing a month's worth of research, and cut two of her fingers to boot. The index and thumb of her left hand were heavily bandaged and she had to get both a tetanus and a rabies shot. She'd been suspended for a week. Driving home, she'd run two red lights, the second resulting in a ticket from an officer who had been driving behind her. At dinner, she'd pushed her food around on her plate until it was too cold to eat. She'd just thrown it away instead of reheating it, gotten a shower, and gone to bed. Now it was nearly midnight and she was still tossing and turning. She had had no contact with Sheldon for three days, not since that fateful Thursday a few days ago when she'd thrown everything away to appease her stupid hormones.

Sheldon hadn't tried to contact her. Of course he hadn't. She suspected he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Amy didn't blame him. But she hadn't been able to let it go. She had never gotten to tell him how sorry she was. Say goodbye.

Her throat tightened and her eyes began to burn. The idea of never seeing Sheldon again made her want to just curl up in a ball and never move again. She hadn't realized her feelings for her quirky, shameless, brilliant boyfriend were this deep, but she knew it was true. If she lost Sheldon, she'd lose a huge piece of herself as well. But she'd already lost him, hadn't she? She couldn't forget the look of betrayal and anger on his face when he chased her out of the living room. Or the silence that had followed.

She'd desperately wanted to contact him since Thursday. Now it was Saturday night and she hadn't. She owed him an apologized. She owed him an escape. But every time she picked up her phone or turned on her computer, she'd chickened out. She couldn't face him. See the pain and hate in his eyes. And a text or email seemed horribly cold and indifferent in this instance.

But what other choice did she have? She couldn't face him. He wouldn't want to see her anyway.

Amy let a few tears fall, but then sat up and wiped them away. She had made a mistake and she needed to own up to it, no matter the consequences. Sheldon deserved an apology. The fact that she had let it go this long was inexcusable.

Rolling out of bed, she moved into the living room and sat at her office desk, then stared at her blank computer screen in the gloom brightened only by the light from the oven clock in the kitchenette. She still couldn't face him, and she didn't want to force him to see her. So all face-to-face communications were out.

She picked up her cell phone, but then her fingers hovered over Sheldon's name on the text application. A text still seemed too cold. Romance comedies and her guilty pleasure of sordid real-life drama shows had told her that.

What was left?

It was so old-fashioned, almost unheard of in this day and age, but the idea of writing a letter appealed to her. It was warmer than a text, yet Sheldon wouldn't have to see her.

Amy found one of her research notebooks in her desk drawer and flipped it open to a blank page. Three hours later and she was surrounded by torn out pages crumpled into balls. She had used more than thirty pages, first composing what she had wanted to say, then rewriting it until it was perfect. She had wanted to use perfect penmanship and she had struggled to remember all of the nuances of English grammar. Sheldon was such a stickler for both that she though her effort might help.

Finally she was finished. Her penmanship was so neat that it looked almost typed, while Sheldon's name on the envelope was as elegant as Edwardian script.

She read the letter again, just to be sure.

Sheldon,

I'm so sorry that I'm just not apologizing to you. I've wanted to since that night, but I'm a coward and I know you'd never want to see me again. I couldn't think of how to proceed. But you deserve an apology. I am so sorry for what I did. I wish I could blame it on something, anything, but the truth is, there's nothing to blame but me. I let my desire get out of hand and I hurt you and I'm sorry for that. You didn't deserve what I did to you. So I'm saying goodbye. After this letter, you won't have any further contact from me. I promise. I hope you're okay. That's inadequate, but the best I can hope for.

Amy.

It seemed so stupid, weak, as she said, hopelessly inadequate, but it was the best she could do. It got the point across. Amy carefully folded the letter after making sure to trim every notebook ring fringe from the edge. She slipped it into the envelope, which came with a pre-sticky seal like a sticker, so she didn't have to lick the edge.

Sheldon had been so pleased when those had come out, so he didn't have to put his tongue on the envelope gum or use the more insufficient method of a damp sponge. Or open an envelope someone had perhaps put their tongue on.

She smiled wistfully as she remembered his rant about the purveyance of germs through the post office.

Tears burned her eyes again, but her mind was made up. So she wiped her eyes and looked blurrily at the oven clock. 4:52am. Sheldon would be awake soon. Sunday mornings were the mornings he did all of his in-apartment cleaning and organizing. He woke at 6am for a shower, ate his breakfast, then got dressed and plunged into a whirlwind of dusting, polishing, ironing, and scrubbing, getting ready for the week ahead when work and research wouldn't give him enough time to fully clean every day.

Amy got up, put on a coat over her night dress, grabbed her purse, keys, and the letter and headed out the door.

tbc…

A/N: I know, it's a very short chapter. Just mostly keeping the story going, and there wasn't a whole lot of material for her half of what's been going on. I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Please review; it's always a delight to see that number go up!


	7. Unacceptable

Chapter Seven:

Sheldon stepped out into the living room, cinching his robe more tightly around his waist. He felt refreshed from his shower, ready to take on the dust, dirt, and- God forbid- spider webs that might have accumulated over the week. One day they'd perfect cleaning maid robots and he'd have more peace of mind during the week as well as not having to exhaust himself on Sundays cleaning up after his messy roommate.

That, at least, had been taken care of. The German chocolate cake sat on the counter, covered, and more than half eaten. Leonard hadn't minded the missing nuts as Sheldon had predicted, the odd duck. He'd accepted the peace offering with unusual grace.

He'd come hesitantly through the door after work, as timid as if he'd expected to be shot. Sheldon had been standing in front of the island counter, hiding the cake with his body. Leonard had looked wary: even Sheldon knew that expression.

"Welcome home, Leonard," Sheldon had said warmly. "I believe last night my misdirected anger could have been construed as rude. As my mother taught me, it's customary to present baked goods as a way to express regret for an upset. Here-" Sheldon had stood aside, revealing the cake. "I baked this for you."

Leonard had come properly into the living room, removing his satchel had setting it on his desk chair. He had still looked wary.

"Okay…"

"I think the gesture has been adequately explained. The cake is German chocolate, your favorite. There were no pecans, but I know you won't mind." Sheldon had grabbed a plate and the cake knife and began to cut a large slab. "You're funny that way," he'd added.

Leonard had come to the counter. He was picking at his nails, but stopped and took the proffered plate. "Thank you. But why were you so mad? What happened?"

"You were right. Amy and I had a bit of a quarrel." Sheldon had come up with this half truth after speaking with No.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Anything I can do? Or Penny can-"

"NO!" Leonard had blinked behind his glasses. Sheldon had tried again more quietly. "Thank you, but I have it under control."

"Okay," Leonard had said doubtfully. "Well, I'm here if you need to talk. Apology accepted, by the way."

"What apology? I said it was a gesture of regret for upsetting you. An apology would have included the words, 'I'm sorry'."

Leonard had sighed and shook his head. Sheldon was pretty sure the sigh had been of exasperation. "Whatever, Sheldon. Gesture of regret accepted."

Now it was Sunday morning. Sheldon had spend the day before vigorously working on his newest paper. Anything to keep his mind off of Amy. His chat with No had given him a lot to think about, but he was no closer to a solution. To his surprise, Amy hadn't tried to contact him. She must think he was mad at her and wanted to be left alone. Well, good. He was mad at her. He needed her to leave him alone and let him think.

If only thinking wasn't so hard.

'There's something you never thought you'd think,' he said to himself.

Sheldon stepped onto the main living room floor from the hall when a soft shushing reached his sensitive ears. Puzzled, he stepped to the door to see a white enveloped had been shoved under the door.

'What in the world?' he thought, hurrying forward.

He unlocked and unbolted the door, just in time to see Amy reach the first turn landing down to the third floor. She darted out of sight without a word or a glance, obviously running.

Sheldon stood looking after her. He said nothing. Then he closed the door and stepped back, observing the envelope on the floor before finally reaching to pick it up. His name was on the front in beautiful script.

Sheldon felt a strange fear envelope him. He moved to his spot on the couch and sat down. He peeled open the envelope and pulled out the letter.

Ten seconds later and he lifted his eyes, gazing without seeing across the coffee table. Amy had broken up with him. She said she'd never see him again. The glimpse of her running away down the stairs would be the last he ever saw of her.

Logically, he should be relieved. Maybe even thrilled. She'd hurt him, forced him to do things he never wanted to do. Something that had happened much more often than just last Thursday. Making him try to navigate social situations he didn't care about or which made him uncomfortable. Hold her hand. Dance. Whether she was intoxicated or not. Where would it end, if they'd stayed together?

Yes, logically, he should be glad. So why did he feel so upset?

"Morning, Sheldon," Leonard said as he padded into the kitchenette in his socks. "Haven't you had breakfast yet? You feel okay?" His expression became worried. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

"No."

"Oh, good. I don't think I can handle that right now."

"Amy broke up with me," Sheldon heard himself saying.

Leonard looked up from where he was scooping coffee grounds into the filter. He set the small blue measuring cup down on the counter and approached.

"Oh, no. Really?"

Sheldon waved the letter. "She left this under the door."

Leonard tried to take it from him. "What'd she say?"

Sheldon pulled the letter from him and crumpled it up. He still didn't want anyone to know. It was still painful, embarrassing, even if he knew it was not what happened to No. So, he gave an edited version.

"She tried to seduce me and I said no."

Leonard, however, was clever, even if Sheldon often despaired at his roommate's use of said intelligence. He sat down in his armchair and leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs, his dark gaze serious.

"Did she try to force you?" he asked gently. "Is that why you were so mad?"

Sheldon hesitated, feeling a panic starting. They were becoming a familiar feeling. "I-No. Not… exactly."

Leonard didn't ask him to clarify. Maybe it didn't need clarifying. "Okay. But you don't want her to break up with you?"

Sheldon nodded, and then suddenly felt hot tears well, blurring his vision.

"Oh!" Leonard gasped as if Sheldon had just pinched him. "Okay."

He looked and sounded uncomfortable. Tears ran down Sheldon's cheeks; he was unable to stop them. What was he going to do now?

"Okay," Leonard repeated. "O-Okay. Come here."

He sat on the couch next to Sheldon and reached out, putting his arm around his shoulders. He pulled Sheldon against him, clearly trying to comfort him. Sheldon tensed briefly, but then curled into Leonard. He sobbed without anyway to stop it. It was humiliating, but the reading of that letter felt like it had broken something inside of him.

Leonard put his other arm across the front of Sheldon's chest, fully embracing him sideways. Sheldon didn't fight it.

"There, there," Leonard said, in an imitation of Sheldon.

"I don't want her to leave me!" Sheldon wailed.

"Shhh. It's going to be okay." Leonard rubbed his back soothingly.

"I forgive her," Sheldon gasped, almost just speaking his thoughts. "I don't want her gone."

"I guess she thinks you do," Leonard said. "She seems to think you would be happier without her."

"No!" Sheldon groaned.

There was a short silence. Sheldon's tears had stopped, but he was so miserable, he remained where he was. He couldn't be bothered to worry about germs or contact. His thoughts were totally on Amy, what had happened, his own confusing and horrifying emotions, his worry that he'd, as the saying went, made a mountain out of a molehill, his worry about how Amy must be feeling, and the future. His future, without her.

"Come on," Leonard said suddenly. He pushed Sheldon up. "Get cleaned up, get dressed. I'll drive you."

"Where?" Sheldon asked, still sniffling.

"To Amy's. So you can get your girlfriend back."

"How?"

Leonard gave him another one of his exasperated looks. Sheldon was becoming much more adept at reading expressions from his friends. Why they felt that way was another matter entirely.

"Tell her," Leonard said, spreading his hands with his shoulders hunched. Sheldon was pretty sure that meant, 'why do you have to ask?' "Tell her you don't want to break up. Tell her whatever she did, you can look past it. Be a-a big ol' hippy and tell her how you feel about her."

Sheldon frowned as he contemplated that. He got off the couch and went into the bathroom, scrubbing his face and hands, brushing his teeth again, then heading into his room to dress. Telling Amy how he felt about her. Could he do that?

Back out in the living room, Leonard was waiting with keys in hand. The two headed out and down to Leonard's car.

"Thank you for driving me," Sheldon said to break the silence.

"You're welcome."

"Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell her I was crying."

Leonard look over at him and smiled. "I would never."

"Never would," Sheldon corrected. Then, because it had been Leonard's suggestion, "This is a pain like I've never felt before." If he was going to be spilling his guts, as the saying went, best to practice. He still didn't like it.

"Yeah, it's pretty awful," Leonard agreed.

"Oh, yes, you would know what I'm talking about. It's happened to you so often, you're an expert on it."

Sheldon saw Leonard glare at him from the corner of his eye, but he wondered why. It was just a statement of fact. Perhaps he wasn't becoming adept at his friends feelings after all.

tbc…


	8. Revelations

Chapter Eight:

Leonard drove him to Amy's apartment complex, but stayed down in the car. Pulling into a space half a block from the entrance to the building, he put the car in park and shut off the engine.

"I'm going to stay here," he said. "This is something that you need to do on your own. But I'll be here if you need anything, okay?"

Sheldon studied Leonard for a moment, feeling strong affection for his flawed, difficult, argumentative roommate, who was also his greatest, most supportive, and most thoughtful best friend.

'I really am becoming a hippie,' he thought. 'I should just get a tie-dyed T-shirt and a panel van and be done with it.'

Sheldon headed up to the apartment. He stood in front of Amy's door for a long moment, his heart pounding. He hadn't felt this nervous since the day he'd been forced to give an acceptance speech for the Chancellor's Award for Science.

He just hoped this didn't turn into the disaster that had.

Reaching up, he started his customary knock. "Amy. Amy. Amy."

No answer. Frowning, Sheldon tried again. "Amy. Amy. Amy!"

Still no answer. He started to deflate, worried that she was ignoring him. He might really never see her again.

But Sheldon Cooper didn't give up easily. He quite remembered the clever place Amy had hidden the extra key she had, just in case she locked herself out. Running his fingers along the edge of the door frame, he located the lump of silly putty that perfectly matched the brown of the wood. Pressed into the silly putty was the extra key in a tiny metal case to keep the putty from gumming it. Sheldon opened the little case and extracted the key from the velvet lining. He pressed the empty case back into its space on the jamb, then used the spare key to unlock the door. Opening it, he peeked inside, lightly rapping his knuckles on the inside door frame.

"Amy. Amy. Amy."

A split second before she sat up with a short scream, he saw that she had been asleep on the couch. Sheldon could see that she appeared to being wearing her coat over her house dress. She was even wearing her shoes. She had to have come home and collapsed on the couch. He could see that she was a mess. Her hair was lank and tangled, her skin pale, and there were dark bags under her eyes. Her left hand appeared to be bandaged.

Now she looked at him with wide eyes, and before he could say anything, her eyes filled with tears, she lurched to her feet, upsetting her coffee table, ran across the room, rebounded off the jamb to her room, recovered, and ran inside. The door slammed.

Sheldon was so startled by her crazy behavior that for a moment, he couldn't move. Then he saw her glasses on the displaced table. She hadn't been able to see where she'd been going.

Sheldon could easily hear sobbing coming from her room. Steeling himself, he stepped into the apartment and shut the door. Taking up her glasses, he crossed the room and knocked gently on her door. "Amy."

"Sheldon, I'm sorry!" she cried before he could finish his routine. "Please, read the letter!"

"I did," Sheldon said. "I choose to ignore it."

Silence.

"Amy. Please open the door."

More silence. Except for the hiccups and labored breathing that accompanied crying.

"I am a patient man, Dr. Fowler."

The door slowly opened enough for Amy to peer at him through the gap. Her eyes were red and her cheeks wet.

"Amy." He hadn't knocked, but he felt a trifle better having said her name three times. "I received your letter as you intended. I read it. I refuse to accept the implied termination of our relationship."

Amy was staring at him like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Unless, of course, you insist, in which case I will not force you."

Amy's eyes filled with tears again, to Sheldon's horror.

"What did I say wrong? I'm sorry."

"Sheldon. You're apologizing to me? After what I did to you?"

"Oh. Yes, that was unpleasant. However, I believe you apologized for that incident in your letter. Was that apology not genuine?"

"Of course it was."

"Then, the apology is accepted."

Amy was looking at him still with that look of utter disbelief. "Just like that?"

"Yes." Sheldon lifted his hand, holding out her glasses. "Come out and talk with me."

Amy slowly opened the door and took her glasses. Putting them on, she kept her head down, as if unable to meet his gaze. Sheldon turned around and moved to her couch, sitting down in the customary spot he had chosen. Amy followed after him like a child who had been reprimanded by a parent. She sat down on the very far side and very edge of the couch as if she planned on taking off again in a moment's notice.

"Amy… Why did you do it?"

"I don't know," Amy whispered in such a miserable voice that any anger Sheldon could possibly still have was melting away fast. "I… Sheldon, it's just… I'm sorry. I'm not the Homo Novus you are."

Sheldon nodded his head. "No, I suppose you're not. Then again, I suppose I am not, either."

Amy looked up at him timidly. He felt like one of the bullies on his playground in Galveston, looming over her, just waiting for her to make a wrong move so he could beat her up. He didn't like that feeling. He wanted her to stop it.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

Sheldon looked away from her. Now it was the time to put into words the feelings he'd been having the last few days. It was no easier knowing that he'd have to do it.

"I… I have always wanted to be like Mr. Spock. A true Vulcan, capable of Kolinhar."

"What?"

Despite his apparent need for her in his life, she could still irritate him with her lack of interest in the greatest show in history. "Kolinhar. The Vulcan meditation technique designed to suppress emotions and retain in them a sense of calmness and true composure. Allowing intelligence, reason, and cold logic to dictate their lives. This is a way of life that I have always held in high regard, wishing that I could use it myself, and truly free myself from frustrating emotions and even the faintest desire for human emotional bonds. I have always failed."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Amy was staring at him with that look of wonder again. But she didn't say anything, so he continued.

"I believed that…if I were a Homo Novus, I could become as close to Mr. Spock as possible. Yes, I know he is fictional, but the idea of him, the idea of his way of life, could be achieved. I chose that name to give my desire more substance. A way to bring it to life. And then I met you."

Amy looked down at her hands. Sheldon wanted to ask why her left hand was bandaged, but he held back to stay on track. If he got sidetracked now, he'd never be able to finish.

"At first…yes, I believed that…you could be a Homo Novus as well. That you were. You were so intelligent…and logical…You complimented me in every way. Our relationship of the mind started and it seemed like the best thing to have happened. Someone with whom I could share everything in which I believed and cherished."

"And you didn't get what you wanted," Amy said miserably.

"No. At first, I was disappointed. When you began behaving just like any other girl…drinking, having wild nights…I felt certain that it wasn't going to work out, not as I had intended. When you kissed me, I knew for sure."

"Sheldon-"

"No. Please, let me finish, Amy. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I've had to eat a live worm so that Brock Stanton wouldn't force my head into the toilet in sixth grade." Sheldon shuddered, felt his stomach twist, but he steeled himself again and went on. "You kissed me, Amy, and it took me completely by surprise. It was obvious right then that our relationship of the mind would never be the same. And that was okay with me."

Amy looked at him with frank, open-mouthed astonishment. Sheldon still couldn't look at her directly. He looked down at his hands, rubbing his palms lightly with his fingertips in an effort to dispel some of the tension he was feeling.

"You remember that…when you were done, all I said was, 'fascinating.' It was all I could think of to say. The words 'what are you doing', 'stop that', 'I can't believe you did that', none of those phrases even occurred to me. Of course, whatever…spell that you might have cast on me was broken when you then went and vomited into your toilet for more than half an hour."

Amy looked down at her hands again. Well, that made two of them. Sheldon took a deep breath.

"I was released from…the feelings that that kiss had given me. I wanted to ignore it. I was thrilled when you told me you didn't know what to do, and when you accepted my suggestion we pretended it never happened. Of course, that didn't really occur, not for either of us. When I saw you with Stuart, going out and having fun with another man…a different sort of feeling began to envelop me." Sheldon made himself look at her. "Jealousy."

Amy looked up at him. He wished she'd say something now. He wasn't sure if he could finish this. It required everything he'd never wanted to experience before.

"You recall that I asked you to be my girlfriend. I couldn't stand having you find any sort of happiness with someone else, and if that meant giving in to your desire for a social commitment, then I was going to do that. I was relieved when you accepted me, Amy."

"Sheldon…"

She didn't say anything other than his name, so he had to continue. He didn't know why he was recapping their entire relationship, but it seemed the right thing to do.

"Anytime that I failed in my requirements…your expectations of me…as your boyfriend, it made me feel guilty. Whether I believed you were in the right for your flippant female emotions."

She didn't respond to his insult at all, just continued to stare at him with those big green eyes.

"You tried to do everything right by me as a girlfriend. You tried to follow my relationship agreement to the letter…up to a point. I let you get away with stuff. The kiss when I gave you the tiara, the hand-holding…And if I have to be completely fair, you put up with a lot from me."

"Until last Thursday, when I ruined everything." Amy looked down again and sniffled.

"No. Amy…that was…well, unexpected is the least word I could use."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"No, Sheldon, you don't know. You don't know how sorry I am. I…I violated you. Like some vile sexual pervert, a monster. I know you don't want to be with me, like that, and I-"

"You are not a monster. Nor vile, nor a pervert." Sheldon took a deep breath. "Amy, I can't tell you how I feel about what happened, because I really don't know. But what I do know is that I can't accept your letter. I don't want you out of my life. I asked you to be my girlfriend of my own volition and I stick to it."

Amy stared at him in awe again. "You really mean that."

"Well, of course I mean it," Sheldon said, exasperated. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

"I don't deserve you."

"Well, no, but who does?"

Amy gave him a little smile. He was very pleased by that. She suddenly moved her right hand up and began trying to smooth down her hair, looking down at her housedress and coat ensemble.

"I look like a mess."

"Yes," Sheldon agreed, then wondered why she gave him that tight-lipped look of disapproval. He chose to ignore it. It was likely some social hurdle he wouldn't really understand. "Amy, I want to do another reset of our relationship. Our computer has crashed and it needs to be rebooted. I propose a reset to Wednesday, April 4th."

"Last Wednesday," Amy said quietly.

"Yes. As if Thursday and the ensuing weekend never occurred. Completely wiped from the hard drive."

"No."

Horrified and shocked, Sheldon sputtered, "But why not?"

"Sheldon, what I did was wrong. I hurt you. I can't just ignore that. You can't just ignore that. That's not right and not fair to you."

"But-"

"No buts. What I propose, is a rewritten code instead. We take into account that all of this *did* occur. But if you really, truly, can forgive me, and I can't tell you how much that means to me and how sorry I am, then I want to continue our boyfriend/girlfriend paradigm. With the understanding that I messed up and am now going to be fully and completely bound by the Relationship Agreement re: physical touching. No more holding your hand, no more kissing you, no more asking you to sit close to me on the couch. You'll get exactly what you want, all of it, down to the letter, like you deserve."

Sheldon considered that, then nodded. "Agreed."

"All right, then."

Awkward silence fell. Sheldon wondered what he was supposed to say now. And then he remembered her hand.

"What happened?"

"Oh. I…injured myself at work. I was distracted."

"Was Ricky demanding a menthol cigarette?"

Amy shook her head, not meeting his gaze. "No. I was thinking about you."

"Oh." Sheldon shook his head. He couldn't take any more of these emotions. He was drained, exhausted. "You have taken proper care of the injuries?"

"Yes. The doctor said I'll be fine. Just some stitches. No damage to the tendons or nerves."

"Good. Amy…I wish to leave, but I don't wish to upset you."

Amy looked up at him, and to his relief, she didn't seem upset. She gave him one of those tiny little smiles that he didn't quite understand, but that made him feel warm inside. "I understand, Sheldon. You really, really forgive me?"

"Yes, I have stated so, and my statement was genuine."

Amy's eyes were teary again. Oh, no, why?

"Amy?"

"Go ahead, Sheldon. Go home. I know you've probably had enough of all of this hippie-emotional stuff."

Sheldon looked at her with a little suspicion. "Is this one of those social traps females use to entangle men? Am I being tested?"

"No, Sheldon, no. No, I'm just so happy."

"But you're crying!" Was he never going to understand women?

"Just hippie-dippie girl stuff." She took a deep breath and seemed to fortify herself. Almost like a Vulcan. "Sheldon, I accept your refusal of my motion to end our Relationship Agreement. We remain boyfriend and girlfriend, and you are more than welcome to go home and get to cleaning."

Sheldon looked at his watch. It was almost nine. The whole day was slipping away. He stood gratefully. At the door, he turned back.

"I will see you Thursday for our date night."

Her eyes were brimming again. Sheldon set down the extra key and hurried out, before he was forced to bare more emotions.

tbc…


	9. Love Spell Potential

Chapter Nine:

Over the next few months, Amy stuck to her promise 100%. She no longer asked Sheldon to hold her hand. She never kissed him. She never sat or stood too close to him. He got exactly what he wanted out of the relationship. And in some ways, they had never been better. Sheldon was perfectly happy, and as pleasant as he ever was. Amy was just glad they were still a 'they' and even after the tension of their newly reestablished relationship wore off, when it became obvious Sheldon really had forgiven her, she was still happy. A content and pleasant Sheldon was something she adored.

And she began to realize their relationship really had improved. Sheldon spent more time with her than just date night. They had lunch together in her lab. They had tea together on random days. They chatted about all sorts of subjects, both in person and over Skype. And most telling of all, Sheldon asked for her opinion. He confided in her and valued her insight so much that he asked for her advice, like in the matter about whether he should pursue the new tenure position at the college and risk the loss of his friends or back out and keep his social group strong.

One day, she'd recognized he was terribly upset and coaxed him into telling her what was wrong. When he'd revealed that his workplace nemesis Barry Kripke was doing better in the same area of research as he was, he broke down in front of her. She'd been able to think of nothing but offering him a hug, a violation of their reestablished agreement, an act which made her feel like she'd just cut the wire on a bomb and was waiting to see if it blew up in her face. Sheldon could have blown up on her and be perfectly justified.

Instead, he'd nodded. "What do we have to lose?"

She'd scooted across the couch and awkwardly enveloped him in a sideways hug, asking if it was okay. When he'd told her it was like being strangled by a boa constrictor, she'd let go of him quickly, put out. And he'd been genuinely confused and distressed, asking her why she'd stopped. At a loss, she'd simply hugged him again, and amazingly he'd seemed glad. His hand had even rested on her arm as he took comfort in her presence and her sympathy. Her offer of physical contact had not upset him at all, despite the fact that it violated her promise to never again touch him unnecessarily.

It emboldened her. That was the problem. With Sheldon open to minor physical contact, even welcoming it rather than just enduring it, the old feelings she'd been suppressing with a mix of Gerard and a strong desire to honor her promise to her boyfriend were coming back something fierce. What was she to do?

The pressure began to build up again. She kept her distance from Sheldon, as promised, but her fantasies about him once again became vivid and intense. She began to debate whether his newly revealed acceptance of a hug from her might signify some burgeoning openness to more physical contact or if she was about to head down the same path that had led to the two of them nearly breaking up. It was maddening.

Eventually she decided to lightly test him. It came to her easily enough, when she, Penny, and Bernadette went to Disneyland and took part in the Princess Makeover. Decked out as Snow White, complete with ruby red lips, Amy had laid down on the couch in Sheldon's apartment rather than just go home, pretending to be the poisoned princess. As they were alone, she'd insinuated Sheldon play the part of her Prince Charming and kiss her awake.

Sheldon had declined.

Amy had been frustrated, but not hurt. Sheldon had said no, it was true, but not only was it his right in their agreement, but he'd done so without rancor or disgust. He'd been rather rudely dismissive, but she'd accepted it and simply gone back to where she was.

At least, for a time. But despite his dismissal of a kiss, Amy hadn't been able to shake her desire to sleep with him any better than she ever had. He was simply too casually sexy. Long, lean, such dazzlingly blue eyes, smart and witty, unconsciously charming, he was everything she'd ever wanted in a boyfriend.

Well, almost everything.

Again, it was Penny who had inadvertently sent her down the path of no return.

The three girls been playing Dungeons and Dragons with their boys, sucked into the game through Amy's temper getting the better of her at the airport on the way to Las Vegas and getting them kicked out. She'd been enjoying herself immensely anyway, though it had been Leonard who had invited her, Sheldon callously agreeing that she should leave to avoid accidentally ruining the boys' weekend as well.

And then Penny had almost ruined it. Partially drunk and always open to messing with Sheldon, she'd suggested, after rudely claiming it wouldn't happen anytime soon in the real world, that Amy and Sheldon have sex in the fantasy of the game via their characters. Amy had been mortified and could only watch as everyone else piled on, Bernadette casting a love spell on their characters and Howard claiming it working and making Sheldon's elf mage and Amy's half-orc warrior lustful for each other.

It had been too much. With everyone urging them to react and grinning like it was just one big joke while Sheldon stared at her, as uncomfortable as she, she couldn't take it anymore. Sheldon had come after her after she'd run off and holed up in his bedroom, though he'd all but said he'd come in only because the rest had urged him to do so. Amy had angrily told him that their friends thought their relationship was a joke.

And then Sheldon had surprised her by coming closer and telling her he didn't consider their relationship was a joke. Still despairing, however, Amy had broken her promise in the strongest sense in the past four months by asking him point blank if they'd ever have sex.

"Oh, my. That's an uncomfortable topic," he'd said. And then dropped the bomb that he had never had interest in sex with anyone before he met her, implying that he considered it with her. She pushed him for an answer, and only got, "I have not ruled it out."

"Wow. Talk dirty to me." Amy shouldn't have been so dismissive, but she'd been really hurt by what their friends had done, and Sheldon's typical half-answers and evasion had not helped.

"Amy, it may not seem like it to you, but for me, what we have…is extremely intimate."

And just like that, her anger and despair had started to burn out. Such a revelation for someone like Sheldon.

"I guess I know that," she'd conceded. "It's just part of me wants more."

He knew that, yet reacted with shock anyway. "More?! It's only been three years, here we are in bed together!"

Not at all in the way Amy would have liked, but he was so cute flustered and prudish that she'd been unable to stay mad. She'd smiled at him affectionately, letting a breath out and relaxing. "Come on. Let's go back out there."

"Y-Well, no. Hold on."

She'd started to stand, and his hand had rested lightly on her arm, staying her. With awkwardness but determination, he'd said, "My elven magic user and your half-orc warrior did have a love spell cast on them. We wouldn't really be playing the game right if we didn't see that through."

Surprised and confused, Amy had settled back down. "O…kay."

And now here she was, after all of this time feeling like she was one misstep away from sending her world crashing again, Sheldon had just put his hand to her arm, and was trying to comfort her. She had no idea what he was planning, but she was intrigued.

Nodding at her consent, Sheldon stood and moved to his bureau. "I believe that we just killed a dragon." He had picked up a small felt bag and a book and come back, seating himself back on the foot of the bed and laying the book between them. "While the others pillage the corpse, I lead you to a…secluded area where I attempt to remove your leather armor." He opened the small felt bag and poured the contents into his hand, revealing a small die. While she watched in silence, he'd shaken the die in his hand and rolled it on the book. Looking up, he proclaimed with finality, "It comes off."

Amy brought her hand to her mouth as it became evident what Sheldon was doing. He intended to roleplay a sexual encounter with her. This was huge. And all she could do was exclaim, "Oh!"

Sheldon gestured to her. "What do you do?" he prodded.

"I…" Amy had no idea it would be this hard to respond. As Sheldon looked at her expectantly, she went with the obvious. "I kiss you…on the lips?"

Sheldon nodded almost contently. "I kiss you back on the…" He rolled. "…lips as well. Your turn."

Amy struggled to come up with something. "I remove your armor. What do you do?"

"I…erotically caress your…" Sheldon rolled while Amy waited with bated breath, becoming more in control of herself. He was really doing this. His way, but he was doing it. And then the die fell. "…nose," he concluded without a trace of irony.

Amy didn't even look up. "Keep rolling," she ordered.

Sheldon seemed rather taken aback and picked up the die as if he wanted to argue, but he didn't and rolled again. "Back?" he asked.

Amy accepted that. She straightened and thought. What would he allow?

"I…wrap my arms around your neck and kiss you again."

Sheldon accepted that and rolled while talking. "I wrap my arms around your waist, pulling you to me."

And they were naked. Amy felt her temperature rising and a bit of pressure in her groin. She bit back a 'hoo'.

"I bite your lip gently and run my hand down your arm."

Sheldon blinked and his brow furrowed, but all he did was roll. "I pull away, but only to spread my cloak out on the ground."

Amy knew he'd never do that in real life, but this was fantasy. "I smile at you and wait for you to make a move."

Sheldon frowned slightly and picked up the die. He didn't seem to care that Amy wasn't using it. "I take your hand and draw you to the cloak where I have you…" He rolled. "…sit beside me."

Hardly the most explicit position, but she could work with that. "I lean over and kiss you again."

Sheldon rolled and said, "I kiss you back and run my fingers through your hair."

Amy had often fantasized about that happening. Sheldon had such long, nimble fingers and he seemed to touch everything with a feather-light gentleness that was somehow erotic when she considered those hands anywhere on her body. She was once again very glad that sexual arousal in females wasn't as evident as males. She was starting to feel that vascular throbbing and her temperature was definitely elevated. For a moment she almost considered turning the kiss into a French kiss, something she had wanted to try for some time, but she decided that Sheldon might not approve of that, even in the realm of their roleplay.

"I run my fingers through your hair as well."

Sheldon didn't seem to mind the lack of creativity. "I push you down beneath me."

"Hoo," Amy squeaked, unable to stop herself. "I-I lay down with you…on-on top of me."

Sheldon's cheeks were starting to turn pink while he stared at the die in his hand. Amy had a feeling hers were as well. No matter how eager she was, she was still a virgin, and this was frightening, but in a wonderful, wonderful way.

"Your turn," she said softly to Sheldon.

He rolled a little jerkily, as if she'd startled him. "I…move to kiss your neck," he said finally.

"Hoo," Amy squeaked again. She shifted on the bed, her hands briefly clutching at her thighs. "I enjoy it," she said, staring at Sheldon with more confidence than she felt. "I run my hand down your back."

Sheldon slowly picked up the die. He wasn't meeting her gaze, but she didn't mind. This was more than she'd ever expected of him. If he couldn't look at her, she was okay with that. "My mouth moves down to your shoulder," he said, but still holding the die in his hand. "My hands hold your…" he rolled. "…hips," he concluded. He sounded relieved. That was okay, too. Slow as fine.

"I run my fingers through your hair again and kiss your temple," she said.

Sheldon hesitated again, then rolled. "I run one hand from your hip down your thigh."

Amy shivered, her fingers clenching on top of her thighs in little fists. Anything to help relieve some of the pressure. Boldly, she said, "I raise that leg and hook it around yours."

Sheldon looked up at her, startled. Amy stared back at him without blinking. What would he do now?

Sheldon licked his lips. It was a tic of his when he was nervous or annoyed, one of his quirks that she found cute as a button. They stared at each other for a very long moment. It was tense.

"I…" Sheldon licked his lips again, then said firmly, "squeeze your leg against my hip, decidedly placing myself between your legs in anticipation of the looming coitus."

His phrasing wasn't what a regular person might find sexy, but to Amy it was. She hooted again and bit her lip. Her groin was now throbbing uncomfortably and her panties were sticking to her. She swallowed against her suddenly dry throat.

"I spread my legs to welcome you," she heard herself saying. She didn't imagine the sharp intake of breath from Sheldon. "My hands rub your back."

Sheldon slowly picked up the die. He had forgotten to roll it before, but was now going back to it, probably as a way to control himself. He shook it in his hand. "I move my mouth…down…and nibble-"

Amy could have screamed in frustration at the knock that interrupted him midsentence.

"Hey, you guys have been in there a while, everything okay?" It was Leonard's voice.

Now would have been the perfect time for Sheldon to take the opportunity to stop. Leonard's well-meaning checking up on them had derailed their thoughts and broken some of the tension. Sheldon could easily say they were just talking and leave.

Instead, he glanced at the door without moving from the bed and called, "We're fine, thank you." And turned back to Amy while shaking the die. He was continuing.

"Okay, we just want to say we feel really bad about-" Penny. Interrupting.

"GO AWAY!" Amy snapped. "Sheldon is nibbling on my…" She reached out and lightly batted Sheldon's hand, making the die fall. "Fourteen!" she crowed, knowing that a high number could only be good. "YES!"

Sheldon stared at her with wide eyes at her outburst. As she covered her mouth with her hand again, embarrassed, he gave her a little smile. "Breast," he said softly. "And you really shouldn't let our friends know we're having intimacy. It's crass."

"Sorry," Amy whispered, blushing furiously. She didn't care what Penny or Leonard or anyone knew or thought. Not in that moment. All that mattered was her and Sheldon and that stupid, wonderful white-and-black die. But she was embarrassed that Sheldon was chiding her.

"You're forgiven." Sheldon took a deep breath, then gestured again. "Your turn."

It was surreal, a dream, that this was happening. No way Sheldon was sitting on his bed with her in his room, having had not even the slightest thing to say about the fact that no one was supposed to go in his room. Having chased after and comforted her in her hurt, soothing her with a revelation that their relationship meant a lot to him. Having initiated a game with a sexual component. In his room. With her.

If it was a dream, she didn't want to wake up.

Time to kick it up a notch. "I toss my head back and moan, my hands cupping the back of your head."

Sheldon's eyes widened again. He looked away and licked his lips. Amy gave him a moment, rubbing at her thighs. She sort of wished she had Gerard here. Of course, if things got physical, then they were going to get physical with Sheldon. The stupid toothbrush was going to be a bland last resort after this.

Sheldon seemed to find the corner of his room near his closet fascinating. Once again, she was afraid he was going to stop. This was way out of his normal comfort zone and she wondered if she was pushing him too far, never mind that he had started it. She was about to let him off the hook and call an end to the game.

"I suck at your nipple and grind my hips to yours."

Amy's jaw dropped. Had she just heard that out of Dr. Sheldon Cooper's mouth?

He hadn't rolled the die, he wasn't looking at her, he was speaking to thin air, but he had moved the game along. Quite erotically, too.

"I…moan and pull you up to kiss you again. I…am ready…for more."

Sheldon plucked at an imaginary lint on the bedspread on the other side of him, then looked down at his hands, rubbing them lightly together. All signs of a jittery Sheldon. "I kiss you back and grind against you again," he said. His voice cracked slightly. "It feels good and I can't help myself."

Amy wondered if that was a Freudian slip giving voice to his discomfort, and the mystifying determination to see this through. Perhaps he was enjoying it and wasn't entirely comfortable with that. It would be quite a revelation for someone like him. Amy understood. She had never been the person Sheldon was, but before she met him, she'd been just as mind-oriented and antisocial as he. She had once or twice experimented with attempting to kiss, but no one had ever been interested in her, and so she'd more or less lost any interest back. She'd been, if not happy, perfectly content. Now Sheldon was in her life and she felt more interest than she ever had before, for anyone. She wondered if that was because their bond had started before any intimacy and because she cared about his mind and his personality as well.

Hippie-dippy indeed.

Time to kick it up a notch again. Sheldon didn't seem to be running. Her voice trembling, despite her eagerness, Amy said to the back of his head, "I reach down and grasp… you."

Amy could see enough of Sheldon's face to see him close his eyes. She saw him shiver. Then he opened his eyes and turned back to face her. His face was very serious. He had forgotten about the die, which lay on the book between them.

"I reach to put my hand over yours, and…" He hesitated, licked his lips, and swallowed. "I guide myself to you…and mount you."

Amy quivered, a deep pulse of arousal racing through her from her genitals. She had never felt so turned on in her life. It hurt, in a strangely good way, but also extremely frustrating. She really wanted to have sex. In reality, with Sheldon. But she knew he wasn't ready for that. A small part of her wasn't sure if she was. Not here, anyway, with their friends outside. The game was better for now.

"It feels good," Amy said, repeating what Sheldon had said earlier. "I wrap my legs around your hips and squeeze, pulling you deeper."

Sheldon sucked in a deep breath and let it out. "I begin to thrust."

Amy closed her eyes herself. "I wrap my arms around your neck and kiss you."

Sheldon's voice sounded a little shaky as well. "I kiss you back and…" There was a long pause, as if he had no idea what to say next.

"I urge you to move faster," Amy said as she opened her eyes.

Sheldon's face was bright red. "I do," he said.

Amy swallowed against her dry throat. Her nether region felt heavy and engorged and slick. Her panties were sticking to her uncomfortably and she felt a fine sheen of sweat covering her skin, making her clothes feel too warm. She was terribly aroused.

She didn't know why she looked down, as she hadn't until this point, but her eyes moved down to Sheldon's lap. And she noted he wasn't in the slightest. She jumped to her feet.

"You're not enjoying this at all!"

Sheldon looked baffled. "What are you talking about?"

Amy stabbed a finger at his crotch, so annoyed and hurt that she didn't care at all if she embarrassed or angered him. All she cared about was that they'd been roleplaying sex, a huge step forward in their relationship towards real physical intimacy, and Sheldon's pants were as loose-fitting as ever.

"That! You aren't enjoying this all. I was a fool to think you were. Of course you don't want to be with me, you don't want to be with anyone, and here I was-"

"Amy."

Sheldon said her name so softly, but with such tension, that Amy's words died in her throat.

"Please sit down."

Amy slowly sat down, the quiet tone of Sheldon's voice holding so much behind it that she worried that storm she'd been trying to avoid these last few months was just about to break.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly.

"Amy. I am enjoying this."

"But-"

Sheldon sighed and shifted on the bed. He had his hands folded together and his elbows on his thighs, bent over slightly as he gazed at the ground, as if he were now hiding his lower region from her. She instantly felt horrible.

"Sheldon-"

"Amy, I think it is well-established that I'm not like other guys. Normally, I'd say that with pride, but in this case-"

"Sheldon, no, it's okay, really, I'm sorry-"

"Please let me finish. I am enjoying this. Surprisingly a lot. As I have enjoyed, more or less, everything we've done since we met. Well, except for hand-holding, but that's beside the point. Amy, I care about you a great deal, and I want you to be happy. And I was perfectly honest when I said that a physical relationship between us is a possibility I am not entirely against as I once was. Nevertheless, perhaps this is something that you should know."

With as much tenderness as she could try to muster, Amy said gently, "Are you impotent?"

Sheldon looked up at her like she'd suggested he try sky-diving without a parachute. "No! As I stated to Leonard before, I have genitals and they are both functional and aesthetically pleasing."

Amy wondered how *that* had come up, but she didn't ask and she didn't fixate on the 'aesthetically pleasing' bit either, but on the part that mattered. "Then…"

Sheldon sighed again and looked back down at his hands, where he was now rubbing the palms. "I suppose the best course of action is to be blunt. I am not impotent. However, I do not achieve an erection in a normal manner. At least, I should say, I rarely do spontaneously. I seem only able to achieve an erection through direct physical stimulation."

Amy nodded slowly. Belatedly she realized that calling him impotent had been stupid anyway, as she'd had quite the evidence of his abilities a few months ago. She had gotten him physically aroused and all the way through to an orgasm, and he had been quite hard the entire time. Yes, his genitals were functional.

It also gave her a bit more insight into his state of being. He wasn't exactly an asexual, but his sexuality was muted and seemed to be focused rather limitedly rather than broadly. What could be considered sexual energy was instead diverted into mental curiosity, with literal satisfaction achieved through studying, insights, and knowledge. His hatred of germs and his discomfort with emotions and human contact created a wall around anything involving intimacy, which included sex, and therefore he had little to zero interest. But he was not impotent nor asexual, but instead, as he put it, different. In fact, if a label needed to be made, Amy could consider him, based on this data, Amy-sexual.

That was very flattering. Somehow, despite her limitations in the sex department, she had turned an otherwise asexual man into someone with some interest in the topic.

"I'm sorry I overreacted."

"That's okay. You're female."

Amy rolled her eyes at Sheldon's typical sexism that he said entirely without malice. He had no idea he was being sexist. And in this interest, she couldn't really refute that statement anyway.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out in order to relax, she said, "Do we continue, or have I messed it up enough that it would be best if we just went back out to our friends?"

"I say we continue."

Amy looked at him in surprise. Sheldon looked at her with that intensity she was learning to love.

"Nothing I said was a lie," he said by way of explanation. "Now, I believe our characters still have a love spell on them and are in the throes of a physical entanglement. I believe it was your turn."

Amy stared at him for a moment, just so surprised and so happy. Then she nodded and said, "My body moves with the strength of your thrusts and I can't help but cry out in pleasure. My nails are digging into your back."

Instantly, Sheldon became the embarrassed, awkward one again. He said to the floor, "I…put more speed into my movements, my hands braced against the cloak on either side of your shoulders. I…rear up to put more force into my thrusts and…take us to the…the…"

"End," Amy supplied, the idea of Sheldon rearing above her to take her more forcefully burned into her brain. "Hoo. Okay. I'm nearing the…the end and push myself up enough to kiss you."

"I kiss you back…and the sensations overwhelm me. I…move harder and achieve my orgasm…and groan."

The ending was a little awkward, but Amy sure as hell didn't mind. Another delightful shiver ran through her body. The idea of Sheldon moaning in pleasure wasn't just a fanciful idea. She had the memory to supply the soundtrack and she heard it in her head right then, the rather reluctant but indisputable groan of pleasure as she stimulated him with her hand there in her living room. If he hadn't been so tall, she'd have the sight of his expression to go along with it. She could just imagine what that was.

The tension that had built and built over this game had to have a release, and Amy did, sort of. A deep tingle centered from her genitals rippled through her in a breathtaking pulse, a tantric orgasm of sorts. She had never believed in them, believing them to be the sort of neurological misleading many people resorted to, a mental placebo effect, until she had one right there in Sheldon's bedroom.

Amy whimpered, her fingers briefly clenching on the fabric of her jean skirt. It was no where near as powerful as the real thing, but it was good. A little dizzy, she let out a breath and relaxed, before turning a bit guiltily to Sheldon. He was watching her with curiosity, clearly having no idea what had really just happened. Well, she wasn't going to tell him.

"Your orgasm spurs mine on and I climax as well, my nails digging into your back again as I cling to you and scream."

Sheldon licked his lips. "I…lay us down and relax…" He trailed off, as if not sure how to conclude his game.

Amy was feeling really good at the moment. Smiling affectionately at her awkward boyfriend, she concluded it for him. "I let you lay beside me and curl into you."

For a second, Sheldon looked like he didn't think much of cuddling even in the game, but then he said, "I wrap my arms around you and pull you toward me, pleased with the outcome of this event and the love spell upon us."

Amy gazed at Sheldon for a long moment, flattered with his uncharacteristically sweet statement, whether it was in the game or real or both, believing that there was actually a lot of truth to it. "Thank you, Sheldon."

Sheldon nodded, then shifted, antsy. Amy smiled and stood, casting a surreptitious glance at his bedspread. All good.

"Come on. Let's go join our friends."

"Um, in a moment. Let me put away my things."

Amy left him alone in his room to organize whatever thoughts he was having and headed to the bathroom. She felt a little dirty, but also quite satisfied. She cleaned herself up and then went to join the gang in the living room.

Except there was no gang. Only Penny and Leonard were in the living room, Bernadette and Howard evidently having gone home.

"Hi," Penny said brightly. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Sheldon said behind Amy, making her jump. "We were talking."

Amy glanced at the clock beside the TV and saw that it was after eight. She and Sheldon had been in his room for more than an hour. Penny and Leonard had to know that.

"Amy, we're sorry," Penny continued.

"I know. It's fine. Sheldon and I…worked it out. I'm not mad anymore."

Sheldon was in the kitchenette, busily making himself something to drink. Amy decided it would be best if she left him alone for a little while. This had been a leap in their relationship and she was feeling some confusing things herself. But overall she was happy. Ecstatic even.

"Sheldon, I'll see you later," she said, striving to sound completely normal. "It's getting late and I have to drive home."

Sheldon looked up at her, and there was that intensity again. "Goodnight, Amy. I enjoyed our chat."

Amy really wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him, but she knew better than to do that. The fact that he was trying to reiterate his statement that he had enjoyed their game and being intimate to a point with her was about as loving as he was going to get, and for Sheldon, that was pretty big. So she smiled at him.

"Me too." Unable to help herself, she added, "I hope we can chat like that again soon."

Sheldon's cheeks turned rosy, as did her own. Amy hastily said goodnight to the other two and beat an exit.

Penny caught her on the landing. "Wait, Amy. What happened between you and Sheldon?"

"We chatted."

"Oh, come on," Penny whined. "I know it's none of my business, but you guys were in his room for like two hours."

"One hour and twelve minutes," Amy corrected.

"Whatever. Don't change the subject."

"I wasn't changing the subject. You said-"

"Amy, please? This is so huge, you have no idea. This is Sheldon, your boyfriend! Come on, tell me what happened. Please?"

But Amy wouldn't. She loved her bestie, but this was Sheldon and her. She knew that Penny just wanted the dirty details because that was what girlfriends did, and she was just trying to be Amy's friend, and maybe if and when she and Sheldon actually had sex, Amy might bow to social pressure and dish, but for now, she didn't. Though she could give Penny a little.

"We experienced a non-physical forward move in our relationship that further cements my knowledge that Sheldon is invested in this relationship as I am and I have ended up pleased that your joke occurred."

"Okay, Amy, I'm sorry. It wasn't really meant to be a joke. I just…this is Sheldon, and he pulled a Sheldon move by being completely unaware someone around him was making sexual remarks that I just couldn't help it."

"Penny, do you consider our relationship to be humorous?"

"What? No. Really, I'm amazed. I've known Sheldon Cooper for years and he's never shown any interest of any kind in anyone. There have been girls all over him, and Leonard told me he even once picked up a guy-"

"What?"

"Another Sheldon move. He was trying to find a boyfriend for me in that stupid, 'I-know-what's-best' mode of his and he asked this guy if he wanted to be in a sexual relationship and the guy was gay and thought Sheldon was hitting on him." Penny smiled. "Apparently Sheldon's a looker to gay guys, too, because he got his number. The boys really let him have it."

Poor Sheldon.

"Anyway, Sheldon is so the type to not realize he was picking up a guy in the cafeteria, and here he is…with you. And it's so surprising, him, not you, and so, well, wonderful. I'm happy for him and you."

Amy smiled. "Thanks, bestie."

Penny smiled back. "Goodnight, Amy. Whatever happened in there between you two, I'm happy for you."

tbc…

A/N: I know the "Love Spell Potential" scene has been done before, but I don't care. This was my take on it, and part of my philosophy on Sheldon. Glad to see so many people enjoying this story. I hope you still are.


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